Content of the article: "When a game controls your life"
I was just 11 when I was about to meet, Imo, the best game ever. It was a weekend, I visited a cousin (ten years older) because I need help with math, but It was just a excuse to play N64 on his computer, later that day we were bored of N64 and he started to play Dota 1, I still remember this legendary loading screen.
Obviously, he used to play against bots, I liked the concept, like a war, where 2 groups of heroes fight to destroy the enemy's ancient. In fact I liked so much that I used to ask my cousin to play it so I can see how he plays (because I didn't know how to play at that time). Still stuck in my memory how he used to play with doom and the classic dota soundtrack.
Weeks later, I decided it's time to play, since I didn't have a computer, I went to a coffee Internet, I was a child, all I was able to afford was 2-4 hours per week. And that's were it all started, first I used to play with a friend 1 vs 1, he were more experimented I always ended up losing, Sven was his pick of preference. My obsession was too big that I started to miss school. Before dota I used to be the best student in class, but that year, 2 things came together, a new guy who got better grades and this dota losing streak thing. I went daily to play dota against bots in school time, trying new heroes, reading skills and items descriptions, I was just a child, I used to buy BF for every single hero (yep even the ranged ones), that Sven was just unstoppable, I didn't care about grades since I was not the best anymore, hard year for a 11 year kid.
One week I saw my cousin and I asked him for advice, he suggested me Mercurial (Spectre) with vanguard and radiance build, as you can guess I was very exited to play with my friend, we used to play on Mondays, at the end of the school (he didn't know I was missing school to practice). Next Monday the battle began and…. what a game! It took about 1 hour but finally I won, since then and even now Spectre is my favorite hero.
The point is, I started playing instead of going to school for about 4 months (my parents didn't notice it because they were living far from city and I was with my grandpas, cousins, uncles, or some relative who can give me a room), My mother discovered the truth one day she went to school to ask for my grades and as you can imagine… IT WAS A DISASTAH!. I forget all about Dota for 1 year, I used to play barely, until my parents bought me my first computer. Obviously I immediately downloaded Warcraft and started to play Dota again. You have no idea how much I used to play (since I was not living with my parents) I didn't sleep, didn't go out, my grades went down. That was my life in school. Do you remember the
In college, I became a huge fan of the game, the excitement with new maps, the loading screens, new heroes, items. I meet new friends who play dota as well, the transition to Dota 2, The International, college tournaments, all my college life was tied to Dota.
One good and bad thing about the college it's the fact that parents keep away, so I started missing the lessons again, but this time I lost literally 4 years, I was never the best at anything again, in fact I'm still trying to finish the college. I'm 26 now, I'm working as teacher assistant, and today I've played my last game of Dota 2. Seems like since I knew Dota, my life got worse.
Don't get me wrong, I know it's my fault, if you have more auto control, I admire you, but I can't handle this anymore Dota was mi entire life, no friends, no hobbies, no a stable relationship, just Dota. I need a change in my life, maybe you'll say "why are you writing all of this, you can stop playing without posting it here", yes I know this will result a "shit post" for many of your, but, It's hard for me, Dota is the most beautiful and dangerous thing in my life, the best and worst moments of my life were because of Dota… how amazing was the game when I snatched the aegis with Spectre's ult and we did a comeback! I know you can relate this feeling…. oh, but how sad was when my gf broke with me because of… what you think?… how exciting was the TI5's finals, who can forget the $6M Echo Slam + Ice blast…. yeah that year you didn't pass any subject at college… the spectacular games with some friends, betting some money and wining or losing, good memories…. yeah, while you were so busy playing you brother just grow-up and you can't play or share child brother moments with him because he is an adult now… while you were playing, you grandpas died, you got fat, you little sister didn't get help when she had problems with math.
Just in Dota 2, I have about 8k hours played, reached a max of 4k MMR (currently 2900), and spent about 200$, I'm not rich, In fact I earn just enough to live, even that I spent so much time and money.
I'm posting this because I don't want you guys end up like me, Dota 2 is a great game for sure, but please control your time, sadly for me, it's almost imposible play with control, that's why I'm leaving this forever. I know you wanna up your MMR, reach the next medal, be like the pro players, but be conscious on how much time you're investing in that. Don't waste half or more of your life, like me.
That's my history with Dota, this his how it ends… maybe there is time to fix mi life, I'll try to get rid of the spectral dagger that dota left in my life.
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