Content of the article: "A Player made sure to tell-me how horrible of a DM I am, and it cut really deep."
Greetings everyone, I hope you're all having a better day than I am.
So, this is a piece I wanted to share with you guys which happened yesterday after my usual session of DnD, and is encroaching on my mind.
Here's the situation: Currently, I'm DM'ing for a group of people (online), and I am a very new DM. I've ran modules and one-shots, but this is the first large-scale homebrew campaign I'm running. I posted some time ago about one of my players being bored generally during the games and received a lot of tips to make things entertaining for them, and for that I am grateful.
Sadly, the situation wasn't fixed, and yesterday it kind blew up. During yesterday's session, my group was going around a certain town trying to uncover bits and pieces of information about a cult which they have been investigating for some time. At one point, the same player asked if it was possible to visit a merchant so they cold re-stock on some items.
I was completely fine with it and the quickly found themselves to a provision store. Once inside, I described the place and the attendee, a burly man name Silas. That's when the problems started as soon as I got into character, this player gave the heaviest of sighs, audible through the microphone. I wasn't sure what the problem was, so I stepped OC and asked if there was anything wrong.
Their response was… well, devastating. What followed was a 20 minute long ramble about how my game and myself wasn't good enough. The player told me that I shouldn't try to make character voices or accents as I wasn't good enough for them. Also, they told me they were sick of playing with a new DM that had to constantly have the DMG and the PHB at his hands as I wasn't doing my job by learning the rules by mind. There were a lot of worse things said but I don't remember everything.
I put a lot of effort in this game, at least for my standings. I spent about a year (when I still wasn't a DM) world building, which is very hard for me to be honest. I'm taking acting classes, oratory classes and improvisation classes to try to be a better DM as I really enjoyed it. But this ramble simply tore everything I had done in the past months asunder.
I was frozen and didn't really know what to say. My other players tried to defend me and all, but this particular player wasn't having none of it. That's when they said something that really cut deep. He told me I should just watch Critical Role properly (It is a show I love, but I don't watch it as much as I could due to time limitations) and learn how to stop being a Joke of a DM.
Look, I love Matthew and I do think he's one of the best DM's around. But I am not him, and I don't want to be compared to him. I'm not a actor or a voice actor. I take those classes for fun and I just started on them. It just really makes me sad, he's one of the DM's that I do in fact look up to, and being compared to him just kills me inside.
Honestly, I still don't know how to process it. I ended the session there and ended up crying myself to sleep (Yeah, childish, I know. But I couldn't stop myself). Now, I have no clue how to go forward. Maybe I really should just abandon the DM mantle once for all. It's disheartening and really made a blow to my mind.
I'm sorry for this if it is just a rambling. But I really needed to put it out there.
I hope you are all safe.
- Player choice advice needed.
- How do I deal with a quiet player when other party members are becoming frustrated with him?
- Handling a Problematic Character
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