Dungeons & Dragons Online

Am I a failure as DM and as a player?

Let me explain.

I've been playing D&D por around 6 months now, I started playing in a one-shot with random people and then started DMing my own campaign because my sister and some friends of hers were interested on the game. A few months ago, I started a second campaign (with the first scheduled for a different day of the week), once again with my sister and some other people. And just yesterday my sister tried DMing a one-shot for the first party with me as a player.

Now, I admit it hasn't been all rainbows and roses bc we all make mistakes and we were all new and learning. I've tried my best to take on every problem straight on and talk with both parties to solve the issues we had. For the most part I thought we had.

Fastforward to yesterday; the day where my sister DM-ed a one-shot for the first party. Maybe I'm too used to being the DM, but I got a little bit frustrated bc I didn't understand fully what was going on, I felt like everything was going so fast and I wasn't able to take decisions quickly, so my character ended up feeling SO useless and stupid and the choices we made as a party seemed to be all the wrong ones, so… things on the story went a little bit out of control. Everyone else loved it tho, and while I was a little upset , I tried to hide it, but I think my sister noticed. I'm not sure if this influenced her, bc in a conversation today, she told me that she had been bored while DMing.

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Now, today we played with the second party, so I took on my normal role of DM. I recently had a conversation with these players about some problems we were having, and all things considered, I felt like everything went pretty smoothly compared to other sessions with this particular group.

That's it, until we ended the session and my sister told me she wanted to quit D&D. I asked her if she didn't like how I DM, but she assured me it wasn't that, that she was just bored and didn't feel like playing her characters anymore or being the DM or anything. I did my best to be neutral about it and told her it was fine if she wanted to quit (though she ended up saying she was going to take a break for a while, to see if she changes her mind), but I feel crushed. She was the main reason I jumped to the role of DM, and I can't help but think this is all my fault, maybe I was a horrible player during her one-shot and maybe I'm a horrible DM too. It doesn't help that of course I tried to tie every PCs' backstories to the main plot, so even if I kept going, it's going to be tough to change the parts that her characters affected. Not to mention she was probably one of the two most engaged players I had.

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Now, of course I don't want to force her to keep playing if she doesn't want to, but I'm at loss on what to do, I loved her PCs so much and those PCs algo tended to feel like the glue of the party. And this is a little bit more personal, but D&D is the only activity in which she spends long periods of time with me these days. D&D it's also the only activity in which I get to interact with people anymore, and I also fell deeply in love with the lore and the mechanics and the whole thing of being able to create a story with others; I don't want to stop playing, but I don't think I will be motivated enough to play if my sister leaves.

I'm not sure if anyone would have any advice for something like this, but I can't think of any good solution and perhaps a clearer mind, uninvolved with the problem, might be able to help.




TLDR; the player who has been my main motivation to play D&D wants to quit and I'm wondering if it's my fault while also worrying bc I'm not sure if I would want to keep playing without her.


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