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Best D&D in decades. Goblins and Explosions.

Content of the article: "Best D&D in decades. Goblins and Explosions."

The Best Thing Ever just happened to me last night.. Thank you u/Bikerbud89!

You can see this from our DM's perspective here: "Unwitting goblin sapper" by u/Bikerbud89He deserves the updoot for this.

It was his first time as DM and he made it one of my best games of D&D ever, and I've been playing for decades.
>Be Me
>Be Old Guy
>Defending backwater town from goblins.
>Guild sent us with whole barrel of something called flash powder…

>Old Guy not meta.
>Old guy DM 25 yrs.

>Double you Tea Eff this stuff?
>Thank the gods pretty birb pass lore check. Kind of.
>Learn how to bring myself to 2 hp with one simple trick.
>Experimentation requires sacrifice.. -_-
>Learned things. #probablynot

>Pan to epic learning montage…
>Cue A-Team music…
>Create various explosives. <3

Moving on.
>Late evening.
>Effectively stolen some inspired knowledge from rickety old dude
>Our deity later admits was probably something called a Baby Egg? or BB Egg?
>Whatever. Maybe this is some acronym thing.
>Old Guy too old guy for that newfangled shit.
>Have him hauled off by authorities.
>Sounded evil, wanted our big boom.

todo: Change title to "How we foiled the BBEG without ever knowing."

Next Phase
>Preparations nearly complete…
>Suddenly combat!
>Half dozen raiding gobbos, time to test new spear!
>*In gobbo language* You get one chance!
>Gobbos laugh
>I laugh.
>Throw spear, nail one. Second gobbo goes to help first.
>I laugh again.
>Gobbos confuse.
>Two gobbos become pink and green mist.
>Third laugh.
>Four remaining inspired goblins depart at sixty feet per round.
OldGuy.exe has stopped unexpectedly.

Read:  I decided to come up with some new options for warlock capstones based on each patron after seeing some recent UA.

>Minute later, obviously nearsighted gobbo shows up.
>Horny guy (I think this one is onnna them Thieflings?) sees him before Old Guy (Old Guy too busy laughing still) and he hits em with a Charm Person before I know it's happening. (Busy laughing, remember?)

>I haven't even reached my final form.
>Old Guy on scene.
>Horny guy and gobbo playing cards?
>Old Guy dabbled in enchantment with Command, recognize Charm Person.
>Old Guy builds gobbo trust with own deck of cards.
>Play 52 card pickup… #lifechoices

>Need new game.
>Try ball game.
>Gobbo interested…
>Old Guy is trust.
>Take turns running ball to a tree. You know, another game… -_^

>Horny guy beats gobbo time.
>Gobbo much disappoint.
>Old Guy offer gobbo performance enhancer.
>Offer gobbo light for next run. Gobbo no trip. Gobbo easy win.
>Gobbo eager accept.

>Old guy no tell Horny guy, gobbo much friend now.
>Light fuse on ball.

>Gobbo race towards tree.
>Old Guy much delight.

todo: Change title to "How I got a Halo 3 cheeve in D&D."

>Like Christmas…
>Red and green everywhere.
>Such beautiful
>Single tear…
>Self Admiration… Much proud.
>Old Guy can die happy now.
>Achievement get: Fear the Pink Mist!

End of session 0
>Other players need limelight next session.
>Old Guy retired.
>Old Guy still laughing…

tl;dr DM Gave us flash powder vs gobbos, too lazy to read, missed the green mist.

Source: reddit.com

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