Content of the article: "“Do it!” Famous last words?"
Party of 4, Grave Cleric, Wild Magic Sorcerer, Ancients Paladin, and me, Vengeance Paladin.
Solving puzzles as we travel lower and lower into the basement of a magic Dwarven tower that has been taken over by demons.
Find a giant cube of liquid in a room, some kind of magical force keeping it in the center of the room.
I decide to stick my hand in it.
Nothing happens, so I tell the DM that I want to drink some.
He lets me and then makes me make a CON save.
I fail and am now drunk with one level of exhaustion.
Growing up with dwarves, I recognize this as Dwarven fire wine, an extremely intoxicating spirit.
I dump out my water skin and fill it with fire wine, for later.
Warforged Cleric doesn’t need to breathe, so she investigates the cube and finds a statue of a dwarf emptying a flagon.
She tries to move the statue and finds that the arm moves.
She rotates the arm so the flagon is upright and the cube of alcohol suddenly rushes outwards in a large wave.
Cleric and other Paladin fail their saves and are knocked prone and shoved to the walls of the room.
Four gelatinous cubes remain where the alcohol was and combat begins.
Sorcerer goes first, decides to use chain lightning to hit all four.
DM warns him that the room is full of fumes from the fire wine, which could ignite if exposed to sparks.
I tell the sorcerer to go for it.
Cleric player tries to get him to stop, it’s unnecessary and it might kill us.
Both Paladins have fire resistance, me from magic tattoos that the DM allowed us to buy, the other from his infernal heritage (tiefling).
I’m laughing and saying that it will be awesome.
I make a joke that Emperor Palpatine is behind the sorcerer telling him to “Do it.”
Sorcerer decides to go for it.
Chain lightning hits all four cubes and a massive explosion takes place in the room.
We all fail our saves.
DM smiles on us and only does half the recommended damage, around 50 hit points.
Pallys take half, no problem.
Sorcerer is almost down, cleric is not pleased.
DM tells us the cubes were CR2, we are an 11th level party.
I say that it was worth it. Being the party tank, I probably would have taken more than 25 points of damage and who knows what else might have happened to me (we fought oozes before and dealt with corrosive attacks).
No one agrees with me.
DM says most of my beautiful, flowing whit hair is gone.
No more farmers’ daughters for me, I guess.
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