Dungeons & Dragons Online

Evil character played right

Content of the article: "Evil character played right"

>Be me, Sir Ris of Irs. A lovable knight with a fetish for smiting and cheese.

>Be not me

>DM and great cook. (served taco-stew this game, yum!)

>Guy who always plays Barbarian. refuses to play anything else.

>Lawful Evil player, lovable guy and bringer of odd snacks. (I never knew shrimp chips tasted so good!)

>Usual tavern meetup, bla bla bla. the DM was feeling lazy this time.

>Evil dude is a really rich noble who's house is put under stress due to suspicious activity.

>Find out his daughter was kidnapped by someone trying to extort him for money.

>Hires us to help him

>Sir Ris always needs more cheese-money so i gladly accept. Also smiting the wicked is important too i guess.

>Barbarian had nothing else to do and smashing heads sounded like a good time.

>Evil guy goes to a location to drop off the money. A run-down barn.

>An assassin enters the barn and attacks Evil guy.

>Us not seeing this coming rush to rescue our new companion.

>Five more assassins burst through but they wear the house-emblem of the evil guy.

>MFW evil guy hired assassins to help us.

>The friendly-evil assassins aid us in the following battle.

>We accidentally burn down the barn in the process.

>Evil guy still missing his daughter swears revenge

>Hires private detectives while he goes out with us to split up and search for clues.

>Evil guy gets the idea to use me as bait, dressing me up as a little girl and making me go in to a dark suspicious alley.

>"I the noble Sir Ris of Irs will do no such thing!"

>Evil guy looks at me "Not even for a wheel of cheese?"

>"I am a holy knight, no mere cheese can bribe me!"

>"How about a wheel of sharp cheddar aged for three years?"

>"No mere chee-"

>"It's limited edition"

>"…no mer-"

>It has a Golden label

>"You son of a bitch i'm in"

>"Now that we have our bait, let's construct a trap" the Barbarian says while rolling a Nat 20 on an intelligence check

>Barbarian assembles a hole-trap that only triggers when light things pass over it.

>"Logic dictates that if you cover a hole with thin twigs and leaves only heavy things will pass through. covering it with thick planks and logs will make it so only light things pass through"

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>We let the barbarian do whatever the hell sort of moon-logic he was doing.

>I get dressed up as a small girl, dress, blond hair and some magic BS from the evil guy.

>"Go get them tiger"

>I even have a lollipop

>I go in to the small alley as i shout "It is i, the little girl with candy. Oh look how helpless i am!"

>I manage to roll a 18 on performance check with disadvantage

>DM makes us take a break so she is able to process this entire thing.

>Taco stew was served while we watched some adventure time

>as Sir Ris (now little girl with candy) loudly shouts his whereabouts and helplessness a group of bandits appear with daggers and a potato sack.

>MFW my friends don't even try to protect me as they stuff my polymorphed body in to a sack

>Barbarian's "trap" obviously failed

>at least i have this piece of cheese disguised as candy…

>I arrive at an underground place where thieves do their thieving things.

>I get tossed out of the bag as a woman clad in a tight leather suit looks down at me

>"Look at what the cats have dragged in… Where are your parents little girl?"

>"Yes it is i, the little girl with chee-i mean candy. Look at how lost i am, my mother and fath-"

>Sir Ris gets flashbacks to what happened to his parents

>Leather Lady looks at a girl that suddenly starts staring in to the void, tears falling down her cheeks

>"No family huh?" the leather lady asks in a soft voice

>"aye…" Sir Ris shivers

>"Say, we're lacking in manpower, you any good at pick pocketing?"

>I steal her dagger as we're talking and present it to her

>"Dang! not bad little girl, not bad at all! You my friend will fit right in to our little family. Never had a… sister" She says while trying to repress a memory, single tear falling down her cheek

>Leather lady turns around and shouts out to the crowd

>"We have a new member! and as soon as the hostage money returns we can celibate!"

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>She looks back at me and points out a few interesting characters

>This is Bob the brew master. he can make you a mean brew that can knock even the strongest sailor down! Drunk most of the time. hell he can even get drunk on bread since his body is magic or something.

>"H-hey the- there small fellas" the Brewmaster staggers while looking at either side of me.

>Over here we have Liss who take care of the orphans

>I hear Liss's first lesson of the day"Everyone please listen up and repeat after me "Cops bad, Thieves good" Great work! next lesson, lock picking, please practice on this prison cell door"

>And lastly we have Saint Sarah as our healer

>Sarah is looking talking to a man in a bed, hip flask at her side."Where does it hurt? on a list from 1-10 how much pain are you in?"

>Another nurse answers her "I think he's unconscious"

>"A 9 it is! standby for healing!" she says while taking a swig as the amulet around her neck starts glowing

>As everyone are cheering i see young people, old people, x-slaves both recently escaped and old escapees. injured people unfit for work are dotted around on beds trying to cheer as loud as they can while Saint Sarah shouts at them to take it easy.

>Leather lady has a huge smile on her face as she invites Sir Ris in for a group hug with everyone congratulating me for joining their little slice of heaven.

>I recognize someone in a crowd but before i could remember who it was i hear a hissing noise.

>The walls explode as the Evil guy shoots a fireball on the gathered crowd

>The people who are not outright incinerated burn slowly in agony

>Leather lady coughs as she looks up at Evil guy

>"Why! Why must you attack us!? WE HAVE DONE NOTHING TO YOU!"

>Evil guy shouts at them "And my daughter!? WHERE IS SHE? MY BELOVED DAUGHTER HAS BEEN KIDNAPPED BY YOU BUNCH OF UNDESIRABLES! I SHOULD HAVE NEVER LET HER OUT!"

>Leather lady, bruised and bloody looks around and points to a burned figure in a dress next to her

>"There, she joined because YOU were too controlling. you are a HORRIBLE father!" she shouts as she coughs blood.

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>Sir Ris tries his best to heal Leather lady but in a fit of rage Evil guy smashes her head in

>Evil guy falls to his knees in front of his daughter and begins to laugh

>It's a terrifying laugh

>The laugh of a mad man who has lost everything, driven mad by the hunt only to see his goal ruined by his own hands.

>Sir Ris shoves his sword through the evil guy's heart

>"May the both of you find peace in the afterlife" he says while praying to his God

>DM sits there shocked "Fuck me, that got dark FAST"

>Barbarian player pops his head through the hole in the wall

>"I gotz the evil cheese-safe, les split!"

>Sir Ris removes a leather stud from Leather Lady's outfit and affixes it to his royal emblem. For no matter how much she has stolen or killed, he could feel that no innocents were ever slain or stolen from.

>"Right Barbarian, let's crack that thing open!"

Source: reddit.com

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