Sorry this is long, it's a social situation so I want to explain myself fully.
Maybe this is more of a relational issue or a women's issue, I'm not sure, but I don't know how to handle it because I was invited into this game by a group of people I don't know super well, and I'm starting to feel like the other two girls in my campaign wish I wasn't even in it.
I've never really played DnD before, only once several years ago, but one of the other girls is also new at it so I don't think that's the issue. I did used to play online forum roleplay games a ton during high school, making graphic arts and backstories and personalities and everything for my characters with other players online, so DnD is not a foreign concept to me, it's just a little different because it's not anonymous like online play is, and of course it's done in person without the filter of a screen, and without being done through writing.
It's a male DM, with his girlfriend, another girl and a guy who lives in my building. They randomly invited me to start this campaign with them a few weeks ago. When I showed up the first night, everyone was dressed up but I wasn't, because no one told me we were doing that. I wasn't miffed and just ordered some dress up stuff to match my character online and had it by the third session, last week. The boys complimented my stuff but the girls said nothing. When we play, the girls have inside jokes and banter eachother but one of the girls almost completely ignores me. I have no idea why, I don't know her hardly at all. I try to be funny during the game and make jokes with the rest of them and they do seem to think I'm funny but I'm starting to feel like the girls just don't want me there at all. I'm friendly with everyone and I have a boyfriend so it's not like I'm flirting with these guys either. I try to give everyone equal attention and compliment everyone. They invited me, and I try to show I'm grateful and interested in them even if I do find DnD a little awkward compared to writing forum roleplay or a video game.
We have a group chat for our campaign where we crack jokes or discuss the next session. I shared several really great pictures and gifs I found that suit each person's character really well, hoping it might give some inspiration and mojo. Only the boys reacted and enjoyed it. Silence from the girls. Other times I've shared some DnD memes on occasion and the boys always laugh but only one of the girls even sometimes reacts. If I'm not in the conversation, everyone is talking freely. If I'm talking, only the guys are really saying anything to me.
I told them when we started the campaign I love making graphic art and would love to make character sheets for everyone if they're into it. They seemed very interested when I mentioned it, so today I finally sat down and made my character some art and posted it to the group, trying to show them an example of what I can do for them too and not just myself. I worked hard on it and tried to make it accurate, hoping maybe they'd warm to me more if they saw I really am just as nerdy and care about this game. I know the art is decent but I was not cocky about it, just trying to share my character and show my interest. Only the single guy in my building reacted but otherwise silence.
I almost feel like backing out of this. I'm trying hard to be warm and giving and also be true to myself and share what I have, but I just really don't understand why I'm getting the cold shoulder from the other girls. I'm pretty yes but they are too and I tell them so. I make jokes at my own expense all the time, so it's not like I'm sitting there acting like a superior bitch for my art skill or whatever it is. I'm an easy going person and I usually do well in social situations.
I get a strong sense of jealousy or dislike from the girls. We're all in our mid-twenties but this feels just like high school again. Their group agreed to inviting me in this, but now I feel like I'm not wanted. I'm going to tone back my involvement and just be chill at the sessions and maybe "have less fun" but I'm wondering if I just shouldn't bail on it now since it's still the beginning. Is DnD always like this if you're not super close with the people? I just want to play the game, have fun, make art and enjoy myself, like they do as well I'm sure. What's the problem?
- WIBTA if I canceled a game after Session 0 and a month long wait?
- Players taking Dm’ing for granted, need some help
- A player is playing the same character in another game, is this normal?
More about Dungeons & Dragons OnlinePost: "Feeling weird tension with the other girls in my campaign. The boys are really nice to me. I was invited into this, so why am I being cold shouldered?" specifically for the game Dungeons & Dragons Online. Other useful information about this game:
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