Dungeons & Dragons Online

H is for Honeypot

be me

be in greek themed Odyssey of the Dragonlords

be Nicos of Thysia – perpetually tipsy several hundred year old doomed as heck nymph bard

guest star Darius ????, vengeful revenant trying so very hard to present as living AKA our resident murdery bandage man

Not featured: Telamon of Aresia demigod of war, manlove, and glory; Hektor I Stole This Name, Thief for hire; and Petros the living kung fu statue – probably just very very very cursed.

have downtime amidst trying to forge our own epic and save ourselves from varied curses and Titans

Our Demigod, Thief, and Monk go about trying to recruit a Minotaur to join our party and spend the day getting the snot beaten out of them

Darius elects to take on a bounty – and I being the bard decide to tag along to record what I assumed would be a delightful misadventure of the scary bandage murder man intimidating his way to justice

find a bounty for a murderer who has slain three young women

some good ol CSI confirms…real, real dark crime.

sober right the fuck up because as a Nymph fun and games and all that is fantastic but I also get several hundred years to do so

this motherfucker was doing unspeakable things to girls that had barely tasted two decades

beautiful nymph and bandage man agree this fucker – most likely a member of the Watch – is going DOWN

But how to lure him out?

roll my only natural 20 of the night for mymakeover

also use that wonderful Actor feat to mimic a voice listened to for a minute

and be the only bard with access to magic and no need to wear weapons and armor undercover

a little public drinking here

some flattering comments there

one Big Scary Bandage Man looming and lurking behind the entire time

serial killer's face when his latest score turns around with glowing eyes and hits you with a Hold Person

Darius proceeds to hogtie and lay some MAJOR hurt

we carry the fucker back mostly intact and collect our reward

waive my share – happy to help

next morning reconvening with party, still have my hair done up and kept the makeup on along with the dress – I paid for quality

demigod asks, "Nicos….Why??"

say "Oh for the Gods' sake Telamon it's 499, get with the times."

delight in attention and confusion

tl;dr to find a serial killer without Disguise Self I sobered up and made myself BEAUTIFUL and chose to keep it that way


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