Dungeons & Dragons Online

“Hey DM, I want to pull a Disney princess move, I’ll reach out and hold one of the glowy butterflies”

Content of the article: "“Hey DM, I want to pull a Disney princess move, I’ll reach out and hold one of the glowy butterflies”"

> Be me, human bard of valor (lvl 3)

> Be not me, DM, circle of spore druid, divination wizard (half of the party)

> Start of session in the Fey Wild

> No need for context, no-one knew why or how we got there either (lmao)

> Me and bros are vibing, we all wanted to get in the Fey Wild, this is the bee's knee

> This place is lit

> "Hey DM, I want to pull a Disney princess move, I'll reach out and hold one of the glowy butterflies"

> "Sure thing, roll an Animal Handling"

> "11 (eleven) in total"

> "As you reach out to a butterflies, one land on your index. You accidentally kill it with your thumb"

> yikes, DM is particular about being questioned on their call, guess I won't be a Disney princess today

> "Oh no! I'm sorry little friend, I didn't mean for this to happen!"

> Me and the bros move deeper into the glade and run into an unicorn

> We spend a couple of in-game minutes trying to figure out how to communicate with the unicorn

> Music is the universal language, I play for the unicorn

> Wizard big-brains and remember he has comprehend language

> Unicorn is pissed at me for killing the butterfly

>

> It's then and only then that it attacks (not when we're bonobo'ing trying to talk to it (lmao))

> The unicorn crits its initiative (lmao) and kills me instantly (lmao) because it has an extra round due to crit-initiative

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> "Bard, you don't get downed, you get sent back to the material plane"

> "Oh, alright, I'll regroup with the other half of the party and-"

> At this point, my character realizes that the other half of the party fucked off somewhere, but he doesn't know where or why (they were having a plot-relevant fight)

> "Alright, my character doesn't know where they are, so he's going to go to the pub, grab a pint and wait for all this to blow over"

> "Bard, roll a d12 and add 3"

> "Sure thing – that adds up to 14"

> "Bard, you'll join the material-team's combat in 14 turns. A dude in the pub tells you he pickpocketed someone who looks like your cleric, and that some shit was going down"

> "I meant it, I'm staying at the bar to grab a pint and wait for this to blow over. I'll smooth talk the pickpocket into giving back the gold, while I'm at it."

> DM's fw they realize I don't have any reason IC or OOC to rush to the plot-relevant combat

> Fey-team is fighting the unicorn; material-team is fighting for plot; I'm drinking with a dude and rolling persuasion whenever my initiative turn comes around

> That's it, that's the whole session

> Fey-team wants to non-lethal the unicorn, but DM doesn't allow it with spells

> Druid cries the whole time the unicorn is disintegrated by a moonbeam

> Wizard is disappointed that he had to assist in killing an inhabitant of the feywild (he technically didn't deal any damage)

Read:  An Idea for nights when everyone doesn't show.

> Yay! We won a fight that absolutely no one wanted to fight! Attaboy!

> Material-team eventually beats a goblin monster thing that was threatening the DMPC

> Material-team gal tells me they got advantage on some attacks because their pet was beside them

> Wild, time to get a parrot or some shit to not kill butterflies on average rolls

Source: reddit.com

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