Content of the article: "“Hey DM, I want to pull a Disney princess move, I’ll reach out and hold one of the glowy butterflies”"
> Be me, human bard of valor (lvl 3)
> Be not me, DM, circle of spore druid, divination wizard (half of the party)
> Start of session in the Fey Wild
> No need for context, no-one knew why or how we got there either (lmao)
> Me and bros are vibing, we all wanted to get in the Fey Wild, this is the bee's knee
> This place is lit
> "Hey DM, I want to pull a Disney princess move, I'll reach out and hold one of the glowy butterflies"
> "Sure thing, roll an Animal Handling"
> "11 (eleven) in total"
> "As you reach out to a butterflies, one land on your index. You accidentally kill it with your thumb"
> yikes, DM is particular about being questioned on their call, guess I won't be a Disney princess today
> "Oh no! I'm sorry little friend, I didn't mean for this to happen!"
> Me and the bros move deeper into the glade and run into an unicorn
> We spend a couple of in-game minutes trying to figure out how to communicate with the unicorn
> Music is the universal language, I play for the unicorn
> Wizard big-brains and remember he has comprehend language
> Unicorn is pissed at me for killing the butterfly
> It's then and only then that it attacks (not when we're bonobo'ing trying to talk to it (lmao))
> The unicorn crits its initiative (lmao) and kills me instantly (lmao) because it has an extra round due to crit-initiative
> "Bard, you don't get downed, you get sent back to the material plane"
> "Oh, alright, I'll regroup with the other half of the party and-"
> At this point, my character realizes that the other half of the party fucked off somewhere, but he doesn't know where or why (they were having a plot-relevant fight)
> "Alright, my character doesn't know where they are, so he's going to go to the pub, grab a pint and wait for all this to blow over"
> "Bard, roll a d12 and add 3"
> "Sure thing – that adds up to 14"
> "Bard, you'll join the material-team's combat in 14 turns. A dude in the pub tells you he pickpocketed someone who looks like your cleric, and that some shit was going down"
> "I meant it, I'm staying at the bar to grab a pint and wait for this to blow over. I'll smooth talk the pickpocket into giving back the gold, while I'm at it."
> Fey-team is fighting the unicorn; material-team is fighting for plot; I'm drinking with a dude and rolling persuasion whenever my initiative turn comes around
> That's it, that's the whole session
> Fey-team wants to non-lethal the unicorn, but DM doesn't allow it with spells
> Druid cries the whole time the unicorn is disintegrated by a moonbeam
> Wizard is disappointed that he had to assist in killing an inhabitant of the feywild (he technically didn't deal any damage)
> Yay! We won a fight that absolutely no one wanted to fight! Attaboy!
> Material-team eventually beats a goblin monster thing that was threatening the DMPC
> Material-team gal tells me they got advantage on some attacks because their pet was beside them
> Wild, time to get a parrot or some shit to not kill butterflies on average rolls
- A Wizard in the hand is confused
- Panty Raid Gone Wrong
- Comment on my system for large scale combat during two NPC factions battling it out
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