Content of the article: "“Hey, want a knife?”"
Be me, a Kenku Rogue named Slasher
Be not me, Half-Elf Rogue, Gnome Wizard, Orc, Tiefling Warlock, Gnome Barbarian, and DM.
We enter a simulation of what can only be described as a stereotypical Anime school.
To make it clear, our characters are all in a VR system that transports them into another dimension, played 99% for laughs, because last session we had accidentally Wild-Magicked a dimension-eating cultist into a level 20+ Wizard's favorite manga, altering every single published novel.
We are told to pick characters in the manga, with amazing titles such as 'Sister', 'Rival-kun', and 'Bully'. This is also played for laughs.
Now, the Half-Elf Rogue picks 'Sister', the Gnome Wizard picks 'Classmate', the Orc picks 'Rival', the Tiefling does as any stereotypical Tiefling does and picks 'Bully', the Gnome Barbarian picks 'Teacher 1', and I pick 'Friend'. Keep in mind the 'Protagonaist' and 'Teacher 2' roles were corrupted. We couldn't pick them.
We quickly find out why Protaganist was un-pickable. The Half-Elf Rogue was transported into the manga, and was face to face with the Protaganist. Specifically, a dimension-eating Protaganist with no clue what they are doing, and with the ability to summon black holes.
Next Scene the Friend (Me) is forced to greet the Protaganist, and that's when the Bully comes up to the Protaganist. The Bully does his thing, and that's when the cultist raises his hand, and strikes the Bully with lightning.
We are told that the Tiefling Warlock is fine, they're just in a waiting-room, they'll be back soon.
Next Scene, we're in class. The Teacher walks in, the cultist kills him.
The Rival walks in, says hello, and the cultist (thankfully) doesn't kill him.
Then the second teacher walks in.
DM: "A few of you, especially Half-Elf Rogue, recognize who this is. He looks just like a normal school teacher, except he has a abnormal slasher smile."
This is not a 'Slasher' smile. This is a 'Stabber' smile, the DM makes clear.
The DM explains to those that don't know that The Stabber is The God Of Stabbing.
I roll a NAT 1.
The Stabber rolls a 15, higher than everyone else in our Level 4 party.
Queue everyone dying except for me and the Bully.
I walk up to him, and instead of attacking him, simply hand him a knife.
"Oh, thanks! Who are you?"
And that's how I became friends with a literal god of stabbing.
- Class and Race combinations that were made for each other
- Panty Raid Gone Wrong
- A Wizard in the hand is confused
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