Content of the article: "How a rock became a worshiped god."
This story started about 3 months ago. I had found a new group for DnD and it was session one. My character was an Artificer named Wren who worshiped Hephaestus (The Greek God of pretty much all things artificer). I took a couple spells but most importantly for this story I took catapult and mending. So we do session one. All the characters are told by mysterious people to go to a certain place at sunrise. All except me. I have a dream where i see Hephaestus he tells me he needs me at the same place as the others. So Wren goes to this street corner and we see some beefy dudes and they say they need help escorting this boy to a far city. We were confused why this boy needed escorting but none the less we escort them. The beefy dude won’t let the kid say his name so we spend the whole session escorting the kid all the way to the city and at the very end our High elf rogue casts minor illusion on one of the beefy dudes that is watching us to make him not hear anything. We ask the kid his name and he says his name in Hephaestus. Wrens jaw drops and we end the session having levelled up due to encounters along the way to the city. I took the returning weapon infusion and the enhanced weapon infusion (which my dm let me change to instead of making the weapon I sort of upgrade an existing weapon). So we come back session 0 and we talk to the kid and stuff but we successfully took the kid to the city so we are paid and the kid comes up to me winks and says, “Check your pocket”. Wren checks his pocket and he sees that there is a magic orb. It makes anything deal an additional 1d4 bludgeon damage but it only works or things that are already bludgeoning damage and it can’t be a weapon. (So I cant put it on an arrow because it does piercing and I can’t put it on a club because that is a weapon) I save this and we go to a shady discount magic shop where the guy tries to sell us stupid things like magic sticks that do 1d4 bludgeon, but knocks you back 15 feet or a magic glove that makes your hand grow and shrink in size, but only by 1 inch. But one of the things was a rock. A rock of gravity detection. If there is gravity it drops to the floor if there isn’t it will float. If you haven’t realized by now, it’s a normal rock, anything will do those things in those situations. So I ask the dude if I can look at it. He lets me and I look intrigued at it then toss it at his face. Dm has me roll to hit. Nat 20. Oops. I roll damage 1d6 6. Apparently this guy was already sick and hurt cause I knocked him unconscious. We were freaking out. The cleric was trying to heal him, The rogue was stealing stuff and I was freaking out about how I just killed a man. We ran away but the cleric made the rogue put everything back. Before we left I snuck the rock in my pocket and we left. I had an idea with this rock though. We had a big battle against the city and we leveled up to lvl 3. I took the alchemist subclass. ( a little side note, my dm didn’t like how underpowered artificers were so he made little things that each subclass could do. For example the artillerists could make 10 ammo on a short rest or something. My dm let me make 1 potion of my choice on a long rest. ). Now I skip forward, my dm leveled us up pretty quickly because he obviously wanted some cool mini boss for us to fight. I was right. We came across this cult who had summoned a demon. After a few rounds of combat we are hid behind a wall and the demon will see us soon. I ask the dm what the rock of gravity detection is made of and he says some type of metal. I smirked at the demon and pulled out the rock of gravity detection. (Just To be clear I used a variant of this tactic before while leveling up but I just thought this was the coolest occasion). So yeah I pull out the rock and smirk I crack it in two with a wrench I take a potion of acid (deals 1d6 acid damage) and poured a bit on the rock. I cast heat metal on the rock. I then take the other half of the rock and toss it to the arcane trickster. I activated the orb that Hephaestus gave to me giving a +1d4 damage to the already buffed 1d6 damage (because my dm thought the rock was funny.) and the +1 because of enhanced weapons infusion dealing an average of 7 damage. But that’s not all I have my returning weapon on it too. I take my action to cast catapult on the rock at 2nd level it does 4d8 damage so I roll and get 21 damage then I roll acid damage 1d6 I get 5 then I roll heat metal damage 2d8 i get 14 I then call it back using the returning weapon infusion and it comes to hit the demon again. This time it only does normal damage so i roll to hit nat 20 I roll damage 1d10 +1 I get 9 + the 1d6 acid (4) x2 to deal a total of 76 damage using one action. I forget how I used my bonus action but then the arcane trickster who also has catapult does pretty much the same thing and we kill the demon. I cast mending in the rock and the powers of Hephaestus have made the rock sentient. The villagers praised this mighty rock for saving them from the demon and now I own a sentient rock that is worshiped by thousands of people and for some reason does insane amounts of damage.
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