Content of the article: "How a small mouse man became champion of the wrestling dimension"
Yet sadly is doomed to never visit it. Also mobile so sorry if this ends up lookin' all weird like.
Be me, mousefolk arcane trickster.
Be not me, human barbarian, satyr bard, cool DM.
Party is goofing off and goes to purchase random magic items in basically undead Disney land.
Find a weird WWE belt. Gives a +1 to performance, take it for the meme of small mouse big belt.
YEAR GOES BY
We travel the land of the dead, attempting a Gods' trial to receive a boon for story reasons.
Finish the trial, have a brief conversation with God before BANG.
Door slams open, everyone turns. It's the man, the myth, the legend. Sandy Ravage himself.
Sandy Ravage calls me out, saying I stole the belt. His belt. Throwing soup at me and whatnot.
Challenges me to a wrestling match for said belt.
Mouse would totally deny this challenge usually. But fuck it if I didn't really wanna see where this goes, say yes anyway.
DM tells me he would have used his boon to force me to say yes anyway
Wrestling ring appears out of nowhere, along with an ant from the plane of law as the referee.
Human barbarian and satyr bard can't help in ring, they skip their turns.
Sandy Ravage talks the crowd up, seems to get even more muscles as they boo him. Huh?
I keep getting pinned, minimum 20 acrobatics can't save me now.
Constantly escape by shrinking, misty step, pocket sand, ANYTHING.
Sandy Ravage is cheating, has dwarf under the ring beat me if near the edge, throws me outside the ring onto the Spanish announcers table, etc.
referee has -9 perception to spot cheating.
Barbarian starts beating at Ravage's heels, referee manages to see and summons an inevitable to keep barbarian in check.
Bard heals me, helps me try to talk up the crowd.
Mouse talks up the crowd, somehow succeeds on performance check and gets a wrestling point.
Wrestling point let's me auto succeed a check/save/attack
I could just hypnotic pattern Sandy Ravage, but that's no fun. Instead make an illusion of his greatest enemy, Bulk Bogan.
Its phantasmal force, so only he sees it.
Buys me two turns, Barbarian now fighting dwarf and bard using telekinesis to help me out.
Bard pushes Sandy outside the ring with telekinesis.
My turn. I climb one of those wrestling ring poles.
Remember I have ring of gramarian again.
Cast Chill Couch as soon as Sandy Ravage gets up, a couch is dropped onto him from the cat walk.
Sandy Ravage remains prone outside the ring.
Bard runs around ring, tries to pin with telekinesis. Fails. Is so surprised he can't move next turn.
There won't be a next turn. I'm up, I jump from the pole down onto Sandy Ravage.
Mouse will obviously fail to pin in a strength based contest.
Time to cheat again, I pin Sandy Ravage with the help of my immovable rod.
Roll incredibly high to hide that, nobody suspects im using a rod beneath my cape.
Somehow, someway, in front of everybody… DM rolls a nat 20 for Sandy Ravage to escape out of the Rods immovableness.
I now have to roll strength to try and keep him pinned.
Remember that wrestling point??? Yeah that gets used here.
By the power of the crowd cheering him on, this small mouse man keeps the hulking macho man Sandy Ravage pinned.
Referee calls it, mouse wins the match.
I get crowned champion of the wrestling dimension and get to keep the belt.
Sandy Ravage is salty
First greenpost, I hope my memery makes for somebody's chuckle! There's many more crazy stories with this mouse, if people are interested!
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