Content of the article: "How I was murdered over Sandwiches"
Me and my group are running Curse of Strahd right now, and we all made darker rooted characters in order to fit the vibe and make it more interesting. Party right now is a Dwarf Paladin, Scourge Aasimar Cleric, Wolf Shifter Monk, and myself as a Levistus Tiefling Bard.
For a little background, my character is highly and deeply insane. His past involved being kidnapped by radical racists and kept as a slave for being a Tiefling, and he witnessed his own parents die. His psychosis has deeper roots but all that you needed to know is that he is not in the right mindset.
So, to continue, our party is inside Castle Ravenloft searching the Crypt. My Bard so happens to find a luck blade with a single wish left, learning this after casting Identify.
I think you know where this is going.
He thinks about all the things he can do with a wish, and then realizes he’s really hungry. And then he thinks about all of his friends and how they’re probably hungry too. He feels so bad that they’re as hungry as he is, and decides to nobly use his wish to wish for massive, 4 foot long, delicious pastrami sandwiches for everyone in the party.
DM loves that I made this in character decision, and rewards it by making the sandwiches the product of a Heroes’ Feast spell, so we do still get a benefit from it.
The Shifter does not take kindly to this.
He starts pummeling my character, who upon finding the blade, had 10 HP remaining from fights in the crypt. He hits me with 5 attacks after spending a ki point for flurry of blows. He downs me, and keeps hitting me while I’m down, yelling all the while that I was a useless idiot.
Our Paladin jumped in and saved me, using the last of his Lay on Hands to get me to 5 HP.
Shifter doesn’t care after Paladin begs him to stop. Uses flurry of blows again and kills me after downing me with the first attack.
My poor bard died wondering why his friend was mad at him, feeling the same way he did from the senseless beatings that drove him mad when he was young.
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