Content of the article: "How my party avoided a long drawn out dungeon crawl"
My gaming group are currently playing a campaign of Castles and Crusades. This is a military veteran game group that supports a few vets with PTSD. So we have a several guys who have never played table top RPG's. Myself (Primal Druid), Our barbarian, Ranger, and our paladin are all new to Table top rpgs. the rest of the group, a Knight, Cleric, Illusionist, and the Castle keeper (DM) are all veterans of these games.
Well at this point we are all level 2 and have just completed a reaaaally long adventure that had us save a kidnapped girl and then journey 20 days to her home to drop her off. During this journey, every encounter would have us barely surviving each fight. We finally made it to the girls home town. From there we picked up a quest to hunt a witch in the area. This quest turned out to be way above us and we barely escaped. So the DM, threw us a bone. The ranger and I, being members of the Watchers in the Woods (MI6 of the fay/nature people) got informed by the local Fay population that there queen was kidnapped by the Nok'Mok Faegal (not sure how their name is spelled).
Apparently the Nok'Mok Faegal are like the scottish warrior version of the smurfs. The DM's origional intent was to have our fay envoy shrink us down to size to go raid the home of this enemy. But we had a different idea. We new they were small and there home was underground, on an island in a lake, with a massive water beast that guarded it. Some ideas that we considered were diplomacy, drowning them out with our water summoning cantrips, smoking them out.
The first problem was crossing the lake. We didnt have a boat and this quest was too urgent to run 20 miles back to town. We did have rope. (i keep 50ft of silk rope and grappling hook). The knight, cleric and paladin remove there armor and store it in bags. Our Barbarian takes one end of the rope and he attempts to swim the distance. He makes it but in the process awakens the monster. But now we had a zipline. We get all the armor and party accross.
(I have to explain our Barbarian for the next bit)
The guy playing the Barbarian is very new to board games in general. Hes also a dumb goofy kid and becuase of that is playing his 6charisma, 7 int, 9 wisdom, barbarian perfectly. The player wanted him to be neuoroticly obssesed with hygiene. So he asked if he could brew his own cologne at the start of the campaign. So the DM allowed it and told him that the cologne is his special concoction of Elder Berries. Now he does not get this reference but the rest of the players do. So in game we are always joking about how awful he smells. Which causes him to add more cologne and make the situation worse.
Anyways we are still debating on a course of action when our dumbass barbarian decides that he is gonna drown out the villans with his elder berry cologne. We all shout at him out of character to not do it, he does it anyways. At this point our DM is in tears laughing cuase of how goofy our party gets.
We decide we will still try and negotiate instead of fight. So our knight (highest charisma, also has a large stock of insanely high quality whisky) announces this intent to the Scottish Smurf war dudes. We begin to hear little trumpets and tiny war drums as they file out of there hole and line up in formation. They are willing to negotiate the return of the fay queen. We offer them our rations, High quality whisky, Grannies Sheep Ointment (moonshine that cuase me and the other Watcher in the woods to go on a vision quest earlier, thats what kickstarted this quest.). Much rolling was happening. The knight was rolling an average of 12s for his charisma checks. Finally these little gremlins anounce that they will agree to the terms for 2 human sized barrels of the whisky, 1 of grannies sheep ointment, and 4 of ambrosia that was poured into there home. They explained that they never tasted anything so fine and so potent.
At this point around the table the players are all dumbfounded. The Barbarian player is jumping up and down yelling "I KNEW IT WOULD BE USEFULL." Out of character we all begin laughing. For weeks now this player has been the butt of all of our jokes.
This quest set the tone for the rest of our campaign. Now we have become a part time brewery and alchohal merchant. And since then we have been very role play heavy. This has lead to many awesome stories.
-Like how we star wars AT-AT'd a stone golem and our DM rolled a 1 on its strength check. When he intended us to go back to town to recruit a militia to clear it.
-I roll back to back 1s when making wisdom checks in prayer to my god cuasing me to get smited by my god and the whole town to convert to the zealous worship of a god that isnt mine.
-Our half-elf barbarian losing a drinking contest to our racist(against elves) dwarven paladin who then commisioned a painting of the barbarian without his pants and a small phallus passed out at the table. The bar now hosts a wall of shame.
I play with an awesome group and the heavy roll playing has made every thursday night a blast. I dont have many nerd friends to share this story with. But, I had to share it. I hope you guys get a kick out of it.
- On a D100, Ted Deals was born..Why I love DMing
- Player mentality: Not wanting to go on quests
- “So?It’s just genocide”
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