Dungeons & Dragons Online

How our sneaky dwarf stealing a hat turned into our cleric being dragged to jail

Content of the article: "How our sneaky dwarf stealing a hat turned into our cleric being dragged to jail"

> Be me, dwarf barbaladin

> Be not me: gnome gravity wizard/moon cleric, elf beastmaster ranger, human storm cleric, tiny lizardfolk barbarian, and dwarf fighter/sneaky rogue

> Arrive at town to board a ship we hired

> Go to meet captain at tavern

> Go in, find captain playing dice

> Introductions and whatnot

> Sneaky dwarf asks to wear the captain's hat (he likes hats)

> "No, boy, you have to earn this. Get your own"

> Another captain on a table, leading his crew in song

> bigbraintime.png

> Creeps up, steals hat, immediately invisible thanks to Ring of Invisibility

> Captain is pissed

> "Where's my fucking hat?"

> Wizard tries to minor illusion hat back, no luck

> "Captain, a dwarf stole your hat!"

> "There's a dwarf right there!"

> Except it's me

> Eight men rush me, "Give us the hat back!"

> Tell our new captain to watch this

> Enter rage, square up for fisticuffs

> Sneaky dwarf trips a few of them while invisible

> Blows exchanged

> Whole bar erupts into huge brawl

> Sailors throwing bottles and chairs, people falling over, glorious combat

> Lizardfolk gets elbowed in the face

> Bites a chunk out of the guy's arm in return

> Big ol' Goliath falls on the wizard

> "Get off me, gnome"

> Throws him into the bar

> Wizard gets up, punches Goliath in the bollocks

> I knock a sailor out cold

> Tyson-esque in his performance, Joe

> Bar bitch slaps elf ranger

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> Gets dropped in return

> Cleric receives a mighty shove, fails Dex save

> Flipped over the bar into broken glass

> Hops up and gives the lad some lightning

> Sneaky dwarf finds the captain

> Captain's loving it

> "I haven't had this much fun in weeks!"

> Lizardfolk gets chair swung at him

> Scales his adversary

> Tail 'round the neck, beating on his head

> Wizard is lifted by the neck by Goliath

> channeldivinity.exe

> Sends Goliath and several other people flying across bar

> "Come at me you little bitch!"

> That's my best friend right there

> Inspired

> Grab a fucker and dip him on his head

> Maybe broken neck

> Plant foot on his body and roar my victory

> Bar bitch swings a bottle at the ranger

> fuckyou.zip

> Sics panther on the bitch

> Pounce from the bar and mauls the bitch

> Two guys try to grab the cleric

> wrathofthestorm.gif

> Channel divinity for max damage

> Never says non-lethal

> Kentucky fried sailor flies across bar

> Sneaky dwarf asks captain when cops may show up

> "lol any second now"

> Guards rush in, like 15 motherfuckers

> Wizard goes invisible

> Sneaky dwarf grabs captain and jumps out the window

> Didn't look first

> Right into the ocean

> Lizardfolk rushes for the window

> Guard grabs his tail

> Lizard tail pops off, wiggling in guard's hand as lizardfolk leaps out window

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> I break a tackle and follow

> Ohshitcantswim

> Saved by lizardfolk

> Wizard, ranger, panther all out the window

> Cleric has his dander up

> gloryoftalos.jpg

> Thunderwaves the guards

> 5 save, 10 don't

> Guards flying everywhere

> Other five grab cleric

> One gets the wrath of Talos

> Other four manage to cuff him

> underarrest.vng

> Rest of us on shore see him getting dragged off to jail

> Wizard follows to see where he's taken

> Captain loves us now

> Sneaky dwarf pulls out captain hat, puts it on

> "How do I look?"

> mfw

Source: reddit.com

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