Content of the article: "How should i proceed?? / meta-gaming and arguments with friends…."
Hi there fellow DM's,
I'm a new DM (only 5 months since i do this) and just recently i had a bit of a situation. I want to ask for some opinions from you and see if there might be something i could do. Here it is:
I decided to start with the Essentials Kit for my lack of experience, believing it might help me in my new path as a DM. My group (some experienced and some first time players) was very helpful and enjoyed every aspect of my story telling and the adventure so much that by half way trough i combined it with Lost mines of Phandelver just to create more interesting relations and interactions between the NPC/Players/Events which they loved. When they managed to finish the modules, i proposed to them to play the 3 DLC's for more story but sadly one of the players could not rejoin due to scheduling problems.
One of my best friends asked me to join and replace the missing spot when he found out i play D&D as a DM, for which i was actually overjoyed.
Now this friend is an avid player of PC/Xbox games, mostly RPG's and wanted to try something else.
I explained him the basic rules, shared access with my Beyond materials and gave him a hint about what to read to better understand the game.
It was ok for a couple sessions until he started pushing me to reward them with all kinds of items that he found out in the different manuals, (Legendary i might add) and when i tried to explain him this is not WoW to have best in slot items he got upset. Next time he did was to misplay his character, and in started acting with player knowledge instead of character knowledge, fact that got the party in a very difficult situation having to fight an encounter which was designed for them at least 2 lvl's later. They are lvl 7. The rest of the group followed trough because they past the point of discussions and now they were attacked. We left the session mid-fight due to time issues and decided to continue next week.
Off game i wanted to explain my friend that he always played in a different manner than his character should ( Lawful Good paladin acting as a Chaotic Good ), and as such there might be some mild consequences, also that they started meta-gaming ( using real life knowledge and information to give them a reason to act in game ) and we got in an argument that lasted a few hours. every time i wanted to explain him the situation he kept interrupting me, then came up with his remembering of the session ( to which i responded with the logs to finally make him understand he was in the wrong ). Started accusing me of bad DM'ing and that everything could have been avoided, and explained to me how i should have played my NPC's, etc…
Even when i explained that i as a DM have the big picture of the setting, that they would or could find out about he did not want to hear it….
Eventually when he saw he does not get his way, he rage-quited the party, and kept accusing me of all kinds of bad decisions, and that i don't understand the game, and things like that..
Omg.. just realised i fumed allot … sorry about it, but it really affected me in a way.. I was not expecting this from my friend.
What should i do?
Do you think i should try another conversation?
Or the best option will be to let him go?
How should i deal with Meta-Gamers in the future?
people like my friend that research the books for creature stats, for adventures in order to create a min/max character specially designed for that setting, and also researching magic items and builds just to push the DM to give them those.
PS: outside of D&D we are still getting along fine.
- Start Session Zero by Rewarding Investment in the World and Other Characters with the Interactive Backstory Session
- Opinions on talking out of character (“table talk”)
- I really want to play this game again, but something is holding me back
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