Content of the article: "How “The Greatest Physician of All Time” saved a town from a zombie apocalypse and “acquired” a mansion"
Level 7 Life Cleric
"Ktarius Suiratk, a Physician"
Have 3 others in party
Get told that a village nearby needs our help
Travel to the village, see strange trees, see black smoke, see dead bodies contorted
Ask around what's going on
Apparently a localized zombie apocalypse
During each social encounter, Ktarius increases his title
Someone asks who we are
I am Ktarius Suiratk, the Greatest Physician in the Lands
DM: Roll deception
With a beautiful -1 modifier, I roll a natural 20
Truly the greatest physician in the lands
Get told about the town mayor who lives in a massive, lavish mansion / tower
Get told about the "darkstar", a magical relic that prevents this localized zombie apocalypse
But darkstar requires regular attendance to maintain the magic
This regular attendance is expensive
The mayor is a dick and fires all the religious attendants and uses the money for his own gains
Party decides to go to the mayor tower
Open the gate and walk through the yard littered with corpses
Ktarius, the Greatest Physician on the Continent explodes with his first step and almost dies
Cast Detect Magic
See the traps
As the universe's greatest physician, Ktarius cuts off one of the corpses hands and throws it at one of the magic glowing glyphs he sees with Detect Magic running
Sees windows 10 stories up the tower
Other party member (Level 6 Wizard, Level 1 Artificer) casts Fly on Ktarius
Ktarius, with Fly + Detect Magic zooms up into air
Realize at 4 hp
Zoom around the building, look at everything
LOTS of magic of all different varieties given off from everywhere
Fuck it x2
Full speed through the top floor / attic window
Take 1d4 damage…. 3.
Hear footsteps coming up to the attic
Put a lamp shade on my head and stand very still
Mayor walks into dark attic
Rolls nat 1!!!!!
Walks over to window, curious whats going on
Ktarius casts Hold Person
Mayor rolls 1 under spell save dc
Mayor = Paralyzed
Ktarius, remembering everyone in town talking about how selfish the Mayor is and how spiteful he is
Ktarius runs full speed and shoves the mayor out the 10th story attic window
Mayor falls out, paralyzed, slams into the various roofs
Mayor lands on the explosive traps on the yard
Can now bring the townspeople in and save them, then go deal with the darkstar in the morning
Forget to tell townspeople about the traps
Immediately cast revivify
Ktarius, the Greatest Physician in All of Time and Space
And that is the story of how our party acquired a mansion and saved a town
- Find Traps Is Very Badly Written
- Ranger crashes family dinner with a molotov
- How to deal with detecting magical objects?
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