Content of the article: "How to BECOME the BBEG."
>Be me. Jenkins the Grey
>Powerful wizard. Turns in to a ghost whenever i die, can possess others but only once.
>DM forgot i could do this many sessions ago.
>I gathered with my party outside the BBEG's giant lair.
>BBEG is a Giant Ancient Prismatic Elemental Dragon. The god of dragons. (basically what happens if one of every dragon gets frisky and they all become the father, yeah you weren't expecting to visualize a multi-colored dragon orgy today were you?!)
>Threatens the world by opening a portal in to the fire plane in order to raid the material plane for all it's resources.
>Party sneaks in to the lair.
>I walk in normally, find the sleeping dragon.
>Party and DM look at me like i'm insane. I remind them of my one-use power.
>I possess the dragon.
>Nat 20 on intelligence check with a modifier of a bazillion. (Note for DMs out there, don't give your wizard an item that gives advantage on all rolls)
>DM calls for a break while banging her head against the Dungeon Master's Guide
>"THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN I LET YOU HOMEBREW!" she shouts, trying to be angry but just ending up looking cute instead.
>She shows me a recipe in a book and tells me to make it
>MFW she let me use her kitchen… AGAIN! (Last time i ruined an expensive pan, nobody told me that using metal in a non-stick was bad! i do it all the time.)
>The recipe called for a clove of garlic, something i was told later was not the entire garlic but a single slice. Oh well i like garlic
>I rummage through the spice CABINET (Like she got an entire pull-out walk-in CABINET for spice!)
>I see a small, and i mean ˢᵐᵃˡˡ bottle of (a word i can't remember) extract
>My brain tells me "yes, this will add good flavor"
>Cut to about 10 minutes later when i burn the food and the DM comes running in to me while shouting at me to not burn down her kitchen.
>I look at her and give her a kiss "Its for flavor" i say while winking
>I promptly taste my sauce and my tongue goes numb. but my throat catches FIRE!
>Tears running down my cheek as i hold my thumb up "See… tasty" i say as i cough
>DM looks at the bottle i used. "…You know this is like industrial strength chili extract… right? you're meant to mix it out in 20 liters of water…"
>"NO time to worry DnD TIME!" i say while clutching my tummy that sounds like a moose making love to a whale.
>Successfully become the BBEG. (yay!)
>"I AM THE GOD OF ALL DRAGONS" i shout as i spew fire both in-game and out of game.
>I start getting an urge… and its not the feeling of my stomach dissolving itself.
>I really want gold right now!
>I truly have become the BBEG i think to myself as i roast a nearby village.
>I could just cast "Wish" and summon gold but its not as fun i think to myself as another village gets burned down.
>Feeling tired i go to sleep and the session ends.
>Many weeks later in a separate game where i played as a Bard
>We get a quest to kill a dragon who had been sleeping for a thousand years before it wakes up
>After a long quest to reach the dragon's lair we first see the big behemoth.
>DM tells us what it looks like and our Ranger rolls high enough to discern what kind of dragon it is
>I start to notice similarities
>Ask the DM "Is this Jenkins the Grey?"
>DM doesn't say anything but her cute "Trying not to laugh" face gives her away.
>We lay a trap in the form of a bunch of TNT all across the roof of the cave.
>Our rouge who was setting up the TNT managed to loosen a rock which was about to fall on the dragon's head.
>Wizard being quick launches a firebolt in order to knock it off course.
>DM laughs a cutely evil laughter "As the rock impacts the dragon's head, not much happens due to the thick dragon-scales which seemed to have dampened the impact considerably… not soon after a ball of flame impacts the head with a small explosion and the dragon roars to life.
>My Bard looks desperately around before something awakens inside her… Something all Bards have in common, something many try to hide…
>"I seduce the Dragon" I shout while dice hit the table
>DM looks at me and facepalms "… are you going to go fuck yourself?"
>"That is precisely what i intend to do" i say as i read up what i rolled
>We all got burned to cinders but it was worth a shot!
- BBEG fights the party (too) early intentionally – credible reason for withdrawal and balance for the fight?
- Unfamiliarity with some rules can facilitate better narratives
- Advices on a BBEG for a (somewhat) new DM
© Post "How to BECOME the BBEG." for game Dungeons & Dragons Online.
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