Content of the article: "“I jump up in the air….AND I STAB IT WITH MY TRIDENT!” -Briney 2019"
So this is the story of Briney the Triton Rogue, and the day he gave our DM one of those, "Gimme a minute." moments seasoned with a nervous laugh.
Our group consisted of, one fighter, one wizard, one cleric, one paladin (if he showed up) and two rogues. I was one of those rogues. Our other rogue Briney, was a swashbuckler, a true man of the sea. One day on our journies through The Lost Mines of Phandelver, while posted up in Thundertree our DM added a little homebrew shop that was ran by the cat of a powerful wizard who lived in Yartar. The cat had his own shop that, from what us players know, can just show up when it wants. We were defending one of the many ruined buildings, when we woke up in the morning, we were greeted by a new door in the wall. After opening it and stepping inside, there was a one eyed cat, but still normal cat size. Inside there 5-6 racks or pedestals that held magic items that were special to us players. My Thief Rogue saw a Magic Climbers Kit (it's in the DMG I don't remember the exact name) and we could trade possessions or gold with an exchange system for a "store credit" to buy this item. We all began throwing our treasures and wealths into these exchange systems on the walls to buy some of these items. I got my rope, but the most excited out of all of us. Was Briney, because his favored item, was a Trident of Fish Command. He purchased it before anyone else even started depositing and struck a trident pose.
So every tike Briney now saw, a beast or creature that MIGHT have a swim speed, he would ask our DM-
"Is it a beast?"
"Does it have a swim speed?…"
Briney really wanted to go full aquaman, so while out in the woods. Traveling back from Cragmaw Castle, we had a camp set up inside an old shrine. We were gathering firewood, setting up shelter, eating our rations, and Briney offered to go to a nearby stream to get some water. Us being cocky players that just wiped out Cragmaw Castle, after I set off every trap and alerted every enemy. We felt VERY confident. So we allowed Briney to go off on his own.
Briney arrived at the stream and everyone went silent, assuming today was the day he got to use it. He stuck his head into the stream, and took a breath, and began to ask our DM.
"Do I see any fish?"
"No, you don't…I'm sorry."
Briney lifts his head above water, and is given an answer to why there were no fish. A large crocodile was swimming up the shallow stream. As the beast approached, all of us players now on the edge of our seat all expecting to wait for Briney to come back with Chompers the Croc. The player asks.
"Is it a beast?!"
"Yes it is."
"Does it have a swim speed?!"
"Yes it does my man."
"Alright…Ill look at the crocodile…I'll jump in the air….AND STAB IT WITH MY TRIDENT!"
Total. F#@*ing. Silence.
We all started laughing, our DM in tears, and our cleric practically rolling off the couch. It was the best "Roll for attack." our DM has ever delivered. Briney ended up getting mauled by a crocodile and only had one chance to yell out. WHICH NONE OF OUR CHARACTERS HEARD EXCEPT THE ONE FIGHTER. We all came to his aid, healing him while our fighter started engaging, and eventually she too was thrashed and on the edge of her health, as she was being dragged up stream. We rushed to stabilize the party and and gathering our party and killing a second croc that was traveling with the first, we killed the first as well. We had two PC's that were barley alive, and two crocodile bodies. We started dragging them back to camp, halfway through doing that we found out why there were no fish and why the crocs were coming up stream…a froghemoth was coming out of the woods…we ran like hell and got back to camp. As everyone except Briney started joking-
"Jump in the air they said, stab it with your trident they said, it will be FUN they said."
It's our groups signature moment. Just thought I'd share lol
There's another story about how Briney tried to make my Rogue fly after our cleric turned the croc hides into custom armor for me and Briney. But I'll save that for later or tomorrow.
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