Content of the article: "Low confidence after a player yelled at me"
New account because my players know what my main is. Questions at the bottom if you feel I'm going on a bit long…
So, I am still a fairly new DM and on top of that, I'm not a very confident person as is. Like a lot of people, we took a break from playing to figure out how to do it in the new world reality. Coming back, I found myself struggling again with confidence in running the game and fumbled a bit because I was unsure about the encounter as I thought it would be a funny one to restart on but it seemed to drag on. Then a player yelled at me during the game that it was up to me whether or not a persuasion check succeeded or not (I'd had them roll with disadvantage because they'd already killed one minion and had attacked the boss they were now trying to convince to stand down).
I understand wanting to play on the easiest mode but also, I have three other players who roll with it and express any critiques politely after the game when they have any. I like this player as a person, mostly, but there's been other situations where they were very vocal, borderline rude, about their annoyance and frustration with elements of the campaign. We talk a lot outside of the game and they KNOW that I don't react well to their tone AND I know that in at least one occasion they did realise that their initial gut reaction was wrong and actually the thing I did turned out more fun than they'd initially expected.
Thing is, I grew up with a parent who used the same tone when they were frustrated (and were easily frustrated) and I have issues around failure and not being "first-time-successful" because of it. They are aware of this. It's making planning very hard because there's no amount of reassurance from the others that will trump the knowledge that at least one of my players is constantly annoyed with my choices because how do I know the others aren't just being nice? This player has no issues with the other campaign we play, DM'ed by one of the other players, also a new DM but they run a published module.
It's hard not to take it personally considering how much effort I put into creating an RP-heavy campaign in a homebrew world while my friend breezes through a pre-made campaign. Plus, my friend is much more confident in their presentation, so I have to also wonder if this player is just one of those people who can't help but bite when they sense weakness?
So I guess what I'm asking is:
1) How do I deal with this player?
2) How do I put together a campaign that has the elements of a published campaign that really make a difference?
3) What are the best, most detailed resources for a newbie DM to put together a lore heavy, customised campaign? I'm really into pulling PC backstories into the main events of the story.
4) Is there a support group for DMs who are reaaaalllly bad at interpersonal conflict?
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