Content of the article: "Morally ambiguous decision to make. HELP!"
So my group of friends and I have been playing for about 2 and a half years now. On and off. Mostly I'm the one who takes time away. (My wife and I had a baby a year ago which made me take time away from playing…obviously, this will be important later) one of them is my best friend (bestie), 2 of them are close friends that go to church with me (sue and bob) whom I am actively involved in their lives weekly, and one is a friend from high school (johnny).
Bestie, bob, Johnny and myself have rotated DM and campaigns for a while. When my son was born, it was my campaign we were doing so basically it ended in a way none of us wanted it to. And because I couldn't make the next few sessions, they stopped letting me know that they were meeting up. They didnt mean anything by it but it hurt to find out months later that they were still meeting up and had chosen a new dm (bestie) and started a new campaign. No big deal I took a break from Dnd for a while.
Fast forward to a few weeks ago! A new campaign a has begun, and the only reason I find out is because I tell bestie that I miss playing dnd and that we should get the hang back together. He tells me and I'm basically inviting myself to come join their campaign. I'm joining this campaign at session 4 or 5 and it is rough. Every decision is disputed. Side note : im the only male character in this group. I am a massive 10ft 500lb firbolg barbarian. Which I'm not against playing a male in a group of females at all, it's not like that, and I dont even mind that male players are playi g female characters.. see This is the party make up 1) Female teifling with a serious male trust issue and a deep cringe backstory (Johnny who is a male player), 2) a Human cleric who worships a beauty centered Godess. Also a cringe backstory that involves a distaste for men. (Sue) 3) A memory deficient warforged (Bestie).
Johnny is being a dick. Because he has a dark and ominous backstory, he does everything in secret and gets very testy and unbearable when he is around males. He sneaks around the party to do solo stuff which t hi kes most of the sessions time. He gets bored easily when we do group stuff…you get the gist… total wangrod.
So immediately I am shunned in game. Every session following is awkward and tense.
I'm not having fun. I want to play with bestie, Sue and Bob. Johnny is an arrogant selfish and highly testy person who has made the atmosphere of the table suffer several times.
We get to a point in the game at session 3 now since I've joined where we still arent playing dnd together. Everyone is going their own way and pursuing their own self interests and it's takes away the purpose and fun of the game.
QUESTION TIME!!! I've had this though several times. What if it's time to find a new group? I dont even know where to look, who I would ask. Maybe some church friends but then Bob and Sue might get offended. I love playing with them but we are all DMs trying to play together which means we are critical of one another with rules and how we expect everyone to make decisions. I'm not the kind of person to get everyone to gang up on Johnny, nor would that probably even work. I dont know if this is just a case of " The grass may be greener on the other side" thoughts. But I've suffered through this enough. I'm giving up time with my family to play a game with my friends and I'm not enjoying it. I LOVE dnd, I think about it all week; I have so much work poured into making a homebrew campaign setting that I'm excited to try out so I dont want to just drop it but I'm so close…
If you've made it this far, thank you. I'm not one to type long posts and it means alot that you've take. The time to read this. And also, if you are one of my friends who discovers this post, please know that I love you guys. I mean no ill will towards you, I am just frustrated and want some help and maybe even a relief.
TLDR: 5 DMs are playing dnd together and I want to quit. Johnny is a pain to play with, but I want to continue playing with bestie, Bob and Sue. Do I leave and possibly ruin some friendships? Have you encountered something like this?
- First time DM-ish?
- Exhausted DM unsure to continue a long-term campaign
- Ways Around Being the Forever DM
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