Dungeons & Dragons Online

Party kidnaps a literal child

Be me, DM

Be not me, Bard, Warforged Artificer, Monk, Wizard

Bard, Artificer, and NPC go to a tavern to relax before a large journey

Bard sees a tipsy older woman, seems distressed

Bard asks if the woman's okay

Woman proceeds to go on a tirade about an elven orphan girl she lost a few months ago, PCs are intruiged

Specifically describes Chestnut Brown hair, and can't remember if she had brown or gray eyes

Several IRL months pass, party completes Lost Mines of Phandelver

Party is in Warforged's Forge.

Knock knock, it's a supply shipment


One of the Rockseeker brothers standing outside the door with a broken cart, no supplies in sight

"Where the fuck is my mithril???"

Proceed to get a description of what happened, including a construct that looks similar to the resident artificer, and something that matches the description of the missing child

Also learn that the construct babbled on and on about a big machine, "colossal" as they called it


Plan is to try to talk with the construct, while taking some scrap metal as a decoy

Several minutes later, arrive at the scene of the original crime

Artificer immediately sees the construct, and recognizes it as another Warforged wearing really old armor

Quickly Casts snare on the cart

Sends Familiar over

Familiar gets swatted away, meanwhile Artificer walks up to Warforged to strike up a conversation

Hear something hit the ground

Turns around to see what it was


Figure immediately gets snared once they touch the cart, now hanging by their legs


Little shit was carrying a bag of holding, shitload of scrap metal spills out

Little shit's goggles fall off

Party realizes this is the fucking missing child

Child yells at her warforged to grab her bag


Artificer throws his bag at the other bag of holding in an attempt to confuse the warforged

Little did he know that this artificer has a -3 mod to WIS and INT

Grabs both bags and books it for the mountains


Artificer, monk, wizard and Bard hatch a plan

Artificer fucking threatens the child first, then proceeds to force the monk to help him carry the child back to the forge

Another several minutes later, back at the forge

Throw small child into only bedroom, lock the only doors out and release the snare

Child is fucking mortified, thinks they're gonna be killed

Bard attempts to calm the child down


Thank christ

Bard convinces the child that they are in fact not going to kill them

Child calms down a bit

Warforged informs her that she cannot escape the forge, arcane lock on the front door

All that chat with the Bard has gone out the window

Child instantly starts panicking again

Fucking bolts for the front door

Slams into it

Falls on her ass


Child practically in tears at this point

Artificer has idea

"We'll let you leave, but I have to get something first"

Not even a minute later, Artificer has handcuffed himself to a child

I would joke about it out of character, but honestly was just impressed that he didn't just snare her again

More travelling

Make it to her home

The bitch lives inside a fucking warforged colossus

Monk, wizard, Bard all concerned

Artificer crying tears of joy and pride

Child specifically asked that the party not enter her house

Artificer says no bueno, he wants a tour if she wants to be able to get help from him and his employees

Also cause it's a sickass house

Child's warforged pops out of the chest, large domed crystal window

Just fucking throws both bags down

Artificer offers to adopt her instead of returning her to the orphange

MFW the party just traumatized this orphaned child before offering to adopt her

Mission accomplished, I guess?

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