Hi gang, Been DM'ing a group for almost 3 years now – game is great, players are wonderful, I'm having a great time and as far as I can tell the group is too. I've told them several times as we are coming up on what has turned into a BBEG that we don't have to keep going afterward that if they want someone else can DM or we can do something else if they want and I've been getting resounding 'No we wanna keep going!' answers from all of them so it feels okay?
But – one of my players is starting to .. I dunno… get on my nerves, I guess? Enough that I feel like I'm being a dick for thinking these things so here we are DMAcademy. She's a mom of three – two toddlers and one kid, we play right after they put the kids to bed (husband plays too) so understandably she's tired but when she is too tired or just had a rough day period she's apathetic to the point of sighing heavily before every roll, snipping at everyone (including me), not looking at her sheet before doing things, forgetting what her character can do or paying attention to narration. I feel like she's sometimes actually mad at me directly when I give her bad roll results or have to tell her something doesn't go how she wanted it to. When she's like this, if things don't go her way she shuts down and petulantly and kind of just gives up on playing with any sense of engagement. I can feel it bring down the mood at the table and I have to put on a 'hey it's okay' voice to coax her back into playing.
Makes her sound like a terrible player but she's one of the most engaging role-players in the group and she's great fun – it's just when she's not feeling it, you know it and it hurts.
I want to know – is it a terrible idea to want to say something to her along the lines of 'if you're not feeling up to playing you can say so and we'll do something else? We don't HAVE to play dnd.' I for sure do NOT want to kick her out or anything but I feel like an attitude adjustment is in serious order on those bad nights. Which makes me feel like a dick because anyone would be exhausted in her shoes and this is her 'adult interaction' time that is desperately needed after a week of kids…
Is there even a way to do that without just making her hate me and feel like I'm mad at her or dislike her?
- The Most Important Element in an Optimized Character
- PSA: try to play in games and campaigns that give YOU the most fun
- Help, running an extremely introvert group, who doesn’t interact with the story or world.
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