Dungeons & Dragons Online

Robbing a noblewoman (Alternate title: Actions have Consequences!)

Content of the article: "Robbing a noblewoman (Alternate title: Actions have Consequences!)"

be me, DM

be not me, my party, including EdgyTM Half-Elf Warlock and EdgyTM Tabaxi Rogue

party has running joke about breakfast-in-bath, and paladin wants to Dragons Den (Shark Tank for the Americans) some nobles for funds to open a tavern that does B-I-B.

introduce millicent as potential first target, interested in B-I-B

warlock steals the initiative, pretends to be plumber that specialises in bath installations


rolls 29 on deception

millicent is convinced, books him for quote

warlock reveals plan, wants to go to her house and rob her

rogue is in, paladin isn't, goes off to wolf of wall street some other nobles


warlock and rogue go up to door


rogue dives in bushes a la Scott Pilgrim

millicents butler, tom, opens the door

tom is a Big Fuck Off Minotaur


warlock rolls with it, starts buttering millicent up


rogue has found way inside house

literally cat burgles bedroom


warlock has buttered millicent successfully, secured deposit to be paid NOW

millicent sends tom up to bedroom to fetch money


rogues player has been rolling well ALL NIGHT

rolls dirty 20 to hide under bed

decide to try something

ask rogues player to roll a d20 for tom's perception check


rogues player: facepalm.txt

shows dice to camera



rogue hasn't noticed millicent cat


tom notices, looks under bed

rogue darts out, dashes down stairs

has choice: go for front window, or not

chooses not

barrels into millicent and warlock in kitchen


rogue breaks away

has choice

go for front window (closer to stairs) or back window

chooses front window

make a dex saving throw


tom rolls 15

tom, having come down stairs, YOINKS rogue by his clothes

rogue is now tied like a fish in a barrel

catch of the day

warlock weasels his way out

door slams



Hopefully after this, my players are gonna think twice about robbing some poor, innocent MILF.

Source: reddit.com

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