Content of the article: "Robbing a noblewoman (Alternate title: Actions have Consequences!)"
be me, DM
be not me, my party, including EdgyTM Half-Elf Warlock and EdgyTM Tabaxi Rogue
party has running joke about breakfast-in-bath, and paladin wants to Dragons Den (Shark Tank for the Americans) some nobles for funds to open a tavern that does B-I-B.
introduce millicent as potential first target, interested in B-I-B
warlock steals the initiative, pretends to be plumber that specialises in bath installations
rolls 29 on deception
millicent is convinced, books him for quote
warlock reveals plan, wants to go to her house and rob her
rogue is in, paladin isn't, goes off to wolf of wall street some other nobles
warlock and rogue go up to door
rogue dives in bushes a la Scott Pilgrim
millicents butler, tom, opens the door
tom is a Big Fuck Off Minotaur
warlock rolls with it, starts buttering millicent up
rogue has found way inside house
literally cat burgles bedroom
warlock has buttered millicent successfully, secured deposit to be paid NOW
millicent sends tom up to bedroom to fetch money
rogues player has been rolling well ALL NIGHT
rolls dirty 20 to hide under bed
decide to try something
ask rogues player to roll a d20 for tom's perception check
rogues player: facepalm.txt
shows dice to camera
rogue hasn't noticed millicent cat
tom notices, looks under bed
rogue darts out, dashes down stairs
has choice: go for front window, or not
barrels into millicent and warlock in kitchen
rogue breaks away
go for front window (closer to stairs) or back window
chooses front window
make a dex saving throw
tom rolls 15
tom, having come down stairs, YOINKS rogue by his clothes
rogue is now tied like a fish in a barrel
catch of the day
warlock weasels his way out
Hopefully after this, my players are gonna think twice about robbing some poor, innocent MILF.
- How my players (mostly) got away with murdering an entire family
- Player Shuts Down Sexist Comment, Made Me Smile
- The theme song for the session was Yakety Sax (minor spoilers for Descent into Avernus)
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