Content of the article: "“Since the session was kind of slow, wanna do some RP and downtime for a little while, no fights or furthering the plot just some preparing?” said the GM not knowing what he has done"
Be me: halfling swashbuckler rogue at 6th level
Be not me: GM, black dragonborn grave cleric, tiefling bard and a player who left when the game ended.
Be playing with this group for months over roll20 & discord.
Last session we saved a town from a cannibal curse that was slowly turning people into ghouls.
This session was very relaxing after the last one but not much happened. Tried to negotiate with the insane cannibal group but that went nowhere.
GM wants to do some downtime after the session like talking with NPCs and restocking on items and stuff that wont put us in danger like killing all the cannibals.
Aftergame RP? Fuck yeah.
One player leaves as it was midnight, big mistake.
There is a wizard's house in town that is not as abandoned as it seemed according to the cleric.
Party decides to tell the hiding wizard that the curse is solved and its safe now.
Looking back, everybody that spoke about the missing wizard told us that he is a paranoid sack of shit.
We were warned.
Lock-pick = Nat20 for a total of 31.
Proudly walk in and step on a floor mat covering a hole.
Dex check and I barely avoid falling.
Cleric casts light on a rock and throws it down.
It just keeps falling and falling and falling until it suddenly poofs out.
Start checking everything for traps or secret doors or illusions.
Find a sky blue book with "(Wizard name)'s diary, do not touch" written on its spine in golden letters.
I proceed to touch.
Alter memory spell gets cast on me, I believe that Tiamat is going to attack the city within an hour.
Start screaming and run for the door.
Fail dex check and fall into the endless hole at the door.
Cleric, Bard and also me believe that I am dead.
They go through some portal / illusion / wizard fuckery.
Bard fights a chair mimic and the Cleric get lost in rooms with disappearing doors for 30 minutes.
"This was supposed to be danger free RP but I died and the rest are exploring a dungeon for an hour now" methinks as I start sadly searching for a cool picture for a spore druid.
They go through some more portals and are making jokes while I am dying inside.
GM rudely interrupts my search for a good picture by telling me to join private call.
Oh shit I am not dead…
I am falling for a long time, so long that the alter memory spell fades and I see a light that is getting bigger.
Light at the end of the tunnel leads to a gigantic circular room with transparent walls, one wall is close to me but the others are miles away.
Take not as much fall damage as I though.
The transparent walls reveal a bigger room outside.
The bigger room stretches over the horizon.
I see similar rooms to mine on each side of me and even underneath but again, miles away.
After a minute I see movement in the BigRoom(tm).
A being of planetary proportions moves closer to my SmallRoom(tm).
It looks inside and eyes me carefully, then it speaks "Another one? Hmmmmmmmm?".
His voice almost burst my eardrums.
The camera pans to reveal that I am ant sized halfling and in a small glass bottle in the wizards living quarters, face to face with the wizard.
I write a message on a notebook "The curse has been lifted" and run towards the giant wizard.
As I get to the glass wall he turns away, his every step shaking the ground/glass beneath me.
He sits down in a chair far far away and starts reading something. I glue the note on the glass.
I use a hammer and pitons to break the glass or get his attention, whichever comes first.
Total strength roll = 4.
Tiny dents on the glass, and he does not care.
Me: "I use my whistle".
He sighs deeply and continues reading.
"I have a gun! I shoot the glass!" I shout IRL at around 2AM.
The moment I say that I remember that the gun is currently with the Bard.
I see movement in a a neighboring SmallRoom(tm).
I zoom in with my eagle eyes that can see details at stupid range (a magic item i traded a bunch of gold and my perception proficiency for with a devil from the 3rd layer of hell a few sessions earlier).
The person is saying something and slamming the glass.
I use my observant feat to read her lips and roll a perception check (with advantage because of my eagle eyes).
Perception check with advantage = 9 total.
My character is known for having shit perception but this is too much.
All the while i don't hide my rolls from the party, they are sending me messages filled with joy and fear.
"HELP ME, GET ME OUT OF HERE" Is all i understand from the fellow prisoner.
I start going towards her gluing more notes on the glass as I walk.
The GM and I return to the group VC.
The party continues passing through this insanely paranoid wizards changing house.
They find a black bearded dwarf sleeping in a cave.
They think its an illusion and the cleric starts ringing a bell.
He turns in his sleep.
The party is still skeptical.
I get a private message from the GM "You hear a very loud bell somewhere far away, but the wizard does not react".
Oh shit they are close to me!
They poke the dwarf awake.
He is that character in every horror movie with the "The evil house wont let you leave" trope.
He has been here for who knows how long and is insane, lonely, crying, pathetic, spouting "There is no way out you fools" and so on.
Party see a wooden wall instead of a cave wall and ask about it.
The dwarf said he was a tiny person in a glass room, but when he was released he got kicked out of a door that turned into that wooden wall.
Firebolt is useless and so is the good old axe.
GM sends another DM saying "You hear explosions and chopping, the wizards waves his hand and the sounds deafen".
They start thinking about a long rest to change spells and are thinking about it for 10 minutes.
It is now 3AM IRL and we have been playing since 9PM.
I get bored and decide to roll an unprompted death save just to mess with them.
Cleric: "Yes, we should take a long rest and I will take the spells I need to-".
Me: rolls a natural 1 on death save.
Bard: "We need to go NOW".
They proceed to throw every cantrip and attack the door with every weapon and tool they have.
I guess I'm just not worth a spell slot.
The Wiztard lets them in after a while.
They ask about me.
Motherfucker is holding slaves for magical miniature fights for when the curse is over and asks them if they want to watch and that they can pay 100GP to watch me fight whatever monster they want.
They tell him that the curse is lifted and he does not believe.
They agree and give him a curse ruby statue instead of 100GP.
Wiztard happily accepts.
The wizard grabs my bottle and teleports me to a coliseum.
Then he teleports himself and the party in the royal seats of the same coliseum.
He asks what they want to see me fight and the cleric answers "Goblins".
"This was supposed to be danger free RP but I got enslaved and the rest of the party is explored a dungeon for 3 hours and are paying to watch me fight goblins for 2 waves now" methinks as i reach half HP.
Light-bulb moment IRL, when his attention is fully drawn to me they will attack the Wiztard.
I start doing flashy moves so the Wiztard cant look away.
They enjoy watching me kill different kinds of gobbos with different weapons.
Cleric suggests that he make it more interesting with random elements.
Giant dice appear in the sky and roll, then gravity goes forgets it exists and we float up.
Cleric is ecstatic in and out of game.
Giant Tigers are released from the bottom of the coliseum, not floating, as I am floating with the last goblin of wave 2, Grom the Paunch (a ridiculously big goblin)
Cleric starts talking about how much he loves this wizard and Bard starts realizing just how badly I am fucked.
For the first time I see clearly where the Wiztard and my friends are sat and the Cleric is eating Snacks while the Bard looks worried
Me: "Is my movement speed reduced?".
Me: "I use my action and bonus action for a total of 75 feet of movement to float to the podium where my friends are".
GM: "You smack an invisible barrier 10 feet away from them".
Just fucking kill me already.
I see that the Bard wants to help me and is coating a magic knife in poison.
A hint of hope dashes across mine and my characters face as he turns around to face Grom.
Gravity remembers it exists, dex check.
Roll a 20 because rogues are cool.
Grom however is mauled by cats waiting below as I avoid them.
Cleric keeps giving the wizard ideas.
All of our voices are shaking, it is do or die quite literally.
We suspect (rightly so) that the Wiztard can just poof out of there if we don't one-shot him.
Cleric is begging Bard IRL to give him more time as he is trying to win the Wiztard over and convince him to set me free.
Bard stabs Wiztard because it seems that she is the only sane one on the podium.
Hits and rolls damage,
1d4+2 piercing for the dagger and 2d10 for poison damage,
The result is somewhere around 13 damage total.
Yup, we are dead, back to searching for spore druid pictures.
GM: Imma need you two and the Wizard to roll initiative.
Bard goes first, then Cleric then Wiztard.
Bard knifes him again and misses.
I start to shake but i remember that our cleric has hold person.
We can still make it, holy shit we can do it.
Cleric is silent.
I want to scream at him to cast hold person instead of a damage spell but i stop myself as it is his character and his choice.
Cleric mentions that he has two options, and both end in wound but one has heal and the other inflict.
Cleric goes silent for a minute again.
I don't really understand what he said but go silent now too as he is obviously not going to cast hold person and i need to pray to all the gods, new and old, that his inflict wounds finishes the Wiztard off.
Cleric rolls a d100.
Gets a 28.
Me: "What the hell did you roll".
Cleric starts crying/laughing.
Cleric casts cure wounds ON THE FUCKING WIZARD.
There is no god now or ever and the Cleric is proof of that.
My jaw drops, my hearth stops and my head spins.
The wizard escapes and leaves us 3 in the coliseum.
It is 4AM now IRL.
I start screaming at him as quietly as I can which the equivalent of rolling a nat 1 on stealth.
Why did he do it, because he liked the wizard.
I ask him to tell me one single good reason why he would heal someone who is clearly insane, enslaved his friend and forced him to fight to his death other then he kinda like him.
Cleric: "That is what my ch-".
I scream FUCK OFF and I leave voice chat.
I feel no emotion anymore, I fail to comprehend what happened even as I am writing this. Only pain find purchase in my mind as I grasp at straws for reasons and causes why my character is going to die this way. I was expecting that book to cast fireball not kill me slowly in and out of game over the course of 4 hours. This was a week ago. The session ended there, what the fuck do I do? Part 2 coming… soon?
- Did I make the wrong call: Should NPCs be able to check illusions if they’re made real with Illusory Reality?
- AITA for getting frustrated at my DM over a general intelligence roll?
- Players trigger several traps at once, DM is forced to reveal plot twists months early to avoid TPK
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