Dungeons & Dragons Online

That time the BBEG couldn’t beat Wild Magic Surge.

Content of the article: "That time the BBEG couldn’t beat Wild Magic Surge."

It's been a while since I've posted on the adventures of Balduk Biran, the wild magic sorcerer. Here are my first two if anyone is interested and/or wants a refresher:

Turning Bad Luck into a fun time and Goodbye Featherbeard. Hellooooo Tieflings!

Be me: Balduk Biran, Level 9 Half-Orc Wild Magic Sorcerer

Be not me: DM, Tiefling Ranger, Dwarven Fighter, Arakocra Druid, Half-Elf Bard

Be in ancient city ruins

Clan of orcs and army of hobgoblins at war with one another over mcguffin in said city

Launch plan helptheorcssavethemcguffin.exe

Make our way into city

Hobgoblins have pet Roc

Plan to spring trap to eliminate Roc threat

Draw attention of hobgoblins


Engage with hobgoblins in small skirmish

Wild magic surge turns me invisible

The Roc enters the ring

Powerful orc shaman on roc's back commanding hobgolbins


Remember back to magic wand I found that has "adverse" affects when used on orcs

Quicken Spell Dimension Door on to back of roc behind shaman

Use action to ram magic wand into back of shaman and activate

Table gives collective "oh shit!"

Shaman definitely has adverse reaction

Suddenly begins to grow and mutate into a huge monstrous form of an orc with extra limbs, mouths, eyes, etc…

"Holy shit that's horrifying!"

Shaman drops his staff

Balduk will remember this.

Shaman's turn


Shaman's new monstrous form grapples and pummels me

Over half my health gone in a single turn

Eventually back to my turn

Small grin and "bye!"

Dimension Door to where staff was dropped

Shaman too large to come with, gets left behind

Shaman tries to run away on back of roc

Roc can barely hold weight of now huge form of the orc

Party has been beating up on the roc

Roc gets shot down by ranger

Shaman falls out of sight several hundred feet away

Pick up staff thinking I just found epic new weapon

Hear voice in my mind

Sentient staff. Neat.

Argue with staff for several turns about being it's new master

Druid asks others why I'm yelling at a stick

Party shrugs and continues killing hobgoblins

Just Balduk Things

While arguing with staff, I continually take damage from staff as it continues to resist my claim on it

Since staff won't listen, I have bright idea to leave it in the ethereal plane

"If I can't have you, no one will!"

Cast blink

Wild magic surge procs: If you die in the next 1 minute, you will come back to life as if by the reincarnate spell


End of turn, blink into ethereal plane

Suddenly ripped from my space and flown across the continent to evil looking tower containing powerful entity

Entity is most likely bbeg

BBEG is intrigued and refuses to relent to my power and continues to deal damage to me through the staff

Turns out, not sentient staff but just a vessel for BBEG to command follower

Resist BBEG attempt to dominate mind and suddenly return back to where I started.

Take another round of damage

Fall unconcious

But wait! Relentless Endurance! 1hp

Laugh at BBEG's failed attempt to kill me

BBEG not happy

Also have death grip on staff as it holds on to me as much as I hold on to it

Next round, cast chaos bolt on staff in attempt to destroy it

Does nothing but procs wild magic surge

For the next minute you gain 5hp at the start of each turn

Angry BBEG deals more damage to me

I go unconscious

Next round, DM "roll death sav….wait…"

I gain 5hp and wake up

BBEG still angry

Tries to dominate again


Several rounds of blinking in and out of the ethereal plane while falling unconscious and waking back up with 5hp

BBEG finally just exasperated

Meanwhile, hobgoblin army begins to descend upon our location

Party decides to bounce

In between blinks I notice druid flying off as a giant eagle

He's done this before, not unusual

Dimension Door in same direction

Don't know where I'm going but try to run in same'ish direction

One more attempt to flex my magic muscles at the staff/BBEG

Since my magic didn't do anything directly to it, try using Wand of Wonder

Random effect

600 oversized butterflies appear on target location

Session ends

I am flailing around in a cloud of large butterflies, staff glued to palm, BBEG basically just "ughh…" for a while now

BBEG can't kill me

I can't beat him

Awkward stalemate…with butterflies

Source: reddit.com

Read:  When does player agency becomes the jailer, instead of the liberator?

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