Content of the article: "That time the BBEG couldn’t beat Wild Magic Surge."
It's been a while since I've posted on the adventures of Balduk Biran, the wild magic sorcerer. Here are my first two if anyone is interested and/or wants a refresher:
Turning Bad Luck into a fun time and Goodbye Featherbeard. Hellooooo Tieflings!
Be me: Balduk Biran, Level 9 Half-Orc Wild Magic Sorcerer
Be not me: DM, Tiefling Ranger, Dwarven Fighter, Arakocra Druid, Half-Elf Bard
Be in ancient city ruins
Clan of orcs and army of hobgoblins at war with one another over mcguffin in said city
Launch plan helptheorcssavethemcguffin.exe
Make our way into city
Hobgoblins have pet Roc
Plan to spring trap to eliminate Roc threat
Draw attention of hobgoblins
Engage with hobgoblins in small skirmish
Wild magic surge turns me invisible
The Roc enters the ring
Powerful orc shaman on roc's back commanding hobgolbins
Remember back to magic wand I found that has "adverse" affects when used on orcs
Quicken Spell Dimension Door on to back of roc behind shaman
Use action to ram magic wand into back of shaman and activate
Table gives collective "oh shit!"
Shaman definitely has adverse reaction
Suddenly begins to grow and mutate into a huge monstrous form of an orc with extra limbs, mouths, eyes, etc…
"Holy shit that's horrifying!"
Shaman drops his staff
Balduk will remember this.
"WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?!"
Shaman's new monstrous form grapples and pummels me
Over half my health gone in a single turn
Eventually back to my turn
Small grin and "bye!"
Dimension Door to where staff was dropped
Shaman too large to come with, gets left behind
Shaman tries to run away on back of roc
Roc can barely hold weight of now huge form of the orc
Party has been beating up on the roc
Roc gets shot down by ranger
Shaman falls out of sight several hundred feet away
Pick up staff thinking I just found epic new weapon
Hear voice in my mind
Sentient staff. Neat.
Argue with staff for several turns about being it's new master
Druid asks others why I'm yelling at a stick
Party shrugs and continues killing hobgoblins
Just Balduk Things
While arguing with staff, I continually take damage from staff as it continues to resist my claim on it
Since staff won't listen, I have bright idea to leave it in the ethereal plane
"If I can't have you, no one will!"
Wild magic surge procs: If you die in the next 1 minute, you will come back to life as if by the reincarnate spell
End of turn, blink into ethereal plane
Suddenly ripped from my space and flown across the continent to evil looking tower containing powerful entity
Entity is most likely bbeg
BBEG is intrigued and refuses to relent to my power and continues to deal damage to me through the staff
Turns out, not sentient staff but just a vessel for BBEG to command follower
Resist BBEG attempt to dominate mind and suddenly return back to where I started.
Take another round of damage
But wait! Relentless Endurance! 1hp
Laugh at BBEG's failed attempt to kill me
BBEG not happy
Also have death grip on staff as it holds on to me as much as I hold on to it
Next round, cast chaos bolt on staff in attempt to destroy it
Does nothing but procs wild magic surge
For the next minute you gain 5hp at the start of each turn
Angry BBEG deals more damage to me
I go unconscious
Next round, DM "roll death sav….wait…"
I gain 5hp and wake up
BBEG still angry
Tries to dominate again
Several rounds of blinking in and out of the ethereal plane while falling unconscious and waking back up with 5hp
BBEG finally just exasperated
Meanwhile, hobgoblin army begins to descend upon our location
Party decides to bounce
In between blinks I notice druid flying off as a giant eagle
He's done this before, not unusual
Dimension Door in same direction
Don't know where I'm going but try to run in same'ish direction
One more attempt to flex my magic muscles at the staff/BBEG
Since my magic didn't do anything directly to it, try using Wand of Wonder
600 oversized butterflies appear on target location
I am flailing around in a cloud of large butterflies, staff glued to palm, BBEG basically just "ughh…" for a while now
BBEG can't kill me
I can't beat him
Awkward stalemate…with butterflies
- 5e Which Magic Items can I give my Magic Store owner to make him frustratingly unkillable to my players?
- Wild Magic almost TPKs my players
- Bird is the Word
© Post "That time the BBEG couldn’t beat Wild Magic Surge." for game Dungeons & Dragons Online.
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