Content of the article: "That time the whole party violently exploded"
Be me: Aasimar Light Cleric
Be not me: Human Paladin, Gnome Paladin, Dwarf Fighter
So we were doing a whimsical anything goes level 20 one shot for New Year's Eve. We were each given 550,000 GP to buy whatever we wanted with.
Setting is "How the Lich Stole Christmas"
Everyone buys their magic items and weapons.
I buy 211 immovable rods, 10 bags of holding, 10 portable holes, 10 necklaces of fireball, and 5 potions of invulnerability among other things for shenanigans.
Party arrives at the Lich's tower. Our goal: return the stolen presents to the townsfolk.
Party argues about which way to enter. Eventually, teleporting to the roof.
Party enters and fights an adult red dragon. A story is only 10 feet high and it's very cramped. Close quarters dragon combat ensues. Dragon defeated.
Next floor down has giant glowing rune in center of room. A Balor stands in the center.
On my turn, I frisbee a portable hole as close to the center as possible. Give a bag of holding to the Gnome Paladin. Gnome Paladin uses their magic hammer to cast Mage Hand. Gnome Paladin drops Bag of Holding in Portable Hole.
Balor gone. Big hole in floor. Miniboss on next floor gone.
Miniboss for this floor dead already. Hear movement coming from bathroom. I wedge two immovable rods around the doorknob.
Lich on next floor. He absconds using Dimensional door and sics some underlings on us.
Human Paladin clears floor almost singlehandedly.
Next floor is "A Christmas Carol" ghosts of Christmas time riddles. Solve first two and fail 3rd triggering combat with Ghost of Christmas Future.
Human Paladin smites Ghost of Christmas Future.
Next floor is the entryway. Two stone golem statues trigger. Two Specters start throwing dishes at us. Fire Elemental materializes out of fireplace.
Others fighting Stone Golems, I Channel Divinity and use Radiance of Dawn. Specters destroyed.
Fire Elemental's turn. It moves to me and attacks my Necklace of Fireball. DM starts calculating damage.
Realize the folly of being blinged out like Mr. T with incendiary grenades. Remind DM I am actually wearing 10 necklaces.
Realization sets in amongst the whole table
35 Fireballs go off simultaneously
What the fu- Ḇ̴̴̴̴̴̴̴̴̴̶̷̶̶̴̶̶̡̜̱̹̦̳̯̮̠͓͕͍̥͎̠̙̺̫̞̱̥ͬͧ̀ͦͥ̀ͥ͐̓͢O̴̷̷̶̴̶̵̶̴̴̴̷̴̷̵̵̷̵̧̨̢̢̟̭̹̲̹̺̟̪̟͙̫̬̺͚̻ͮ̐͐ͭ͗̄̔͆͛͛͠O̴̵̴̵̷̷̷̴̶̶̵̴̵̵̶̵̴̷̵̶̴̡̗͕̮̯̰̻͇͙̹͓̬̞̣̐̇̏̉͂̾̉̀ͤ̍̌͛͝Ớ̴̵̴̴̴̵̶̶̶̶̴̵̴̶̶̴̢̨̧̨̧̬̣̻͚͕̩̠̜͓͈̭̜̣̜ͤ̇ͦ̆ͣ̇̊́͜͞ͅO̵̴̷̴̴̷̴̶̵̶̶̷̴̶̶̵̡̨̢̢̧̢̮̮̯̤̫̺͔̱̤̜̮͚̍̈̓̍ͣͦ̇ͦ̄ͤ̅͜ͅͅǪ̵̵̵̵̴̶̴̶̴̴̵̷̶̴̴̴̴̨̛̛̭̰̺̼͔̞̱̱̘̪̰͔̭̪̻͑̂̌̇̌ͤ͛͆̚͜͠͝Ǫ̴̷̷̴̷̶̶̴̴̷̶̶̴̵̷̵̡̯̤̲̪̳̖͍̭͎̻͙̝̥̟͔̺͕̗̅̅̈́̓ͤ̈́͌͊́͛͆͛Ǫ̶̶̸̵̴̶̵̶̷̴̴̵̶̷̶̷̴̶̶̢̞̻̱̜̟̬͔̫̘͎͍͍̗̺̪͈̟̠̒̓̏̈́̐ͦ̃͘͞O̴̴̷̶̷̷̵̵̷̵̶̶̶̷̵̶̧̺̺̤̤̙͍̮̭͈̮̻̝͇̭̻͎̩͕̾̎̋̇̋̽́̈̐͑̇͝͞M̵̷̶̶̷̵̵̶̵̴̵̵̵̶̷̷̡̨̨̪̝̖͔̜̖̥̰͎̺̺̰̟̯̥̔̒̔̃͑̒̀̾͗̏̈͆͝͞ .
983 total damage. Entire party vaporized instantly. Tower destroyed. BBEG killed. I asked if I could use Divine Intervention.
As an act of Divine Intervention our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ shielded the stolen Christmas gifts from the blast so the townsfolk could recover them.
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