Dungeons & Dragons Online

The All-Sorcerer Halloween Extravaganza

Content of the article: "The All-Sorcerer Halloween Extravaganza"



My group has two traditions: Holiday one-shots and doing our best to fuck with the DM. I'm the DM for our current normal campaign, but one of the other guys had an idea for a Halloween one-shot, which we ran last night. It started innocently enough, he asked us to send him character ideas for planning purposes, and I immediately sent him mine.

Be me: Dr. Adius, Chaotic Evil Skeleton Necromancer who raised himself from the dead

DM says cool, but it's a level 1 campaign



That's fine, still a skeleton

Spend almost all my starting gold on chains that I affix to my body

Spend last bit on a waterskin

Rest of group messages in separate group chat

How do we fuck with him?

Another thing that I personally love is wild magic surge

Party in regular campaign just went through a high-magic area where every spell cast by any class ran the risk of causing a surge

Let's all be sorcerers and see who can fireball the party first

I chime in that we should all be undead, too.

Perfect

Others send him info sparingly, or intentionally obfuscating.

One is a dwarf…never said he was a live dwarf

DM's roommate tries to throw him off, makes a regular human sorcerer

Leslie Willowcreek, aka Lord Dreadbone, Lich-in-training

Walk into session, mention I went with sorcerer since level 1 wizard is pretty lame

DM looks suspicious

Other players show up

Pieces come together

BigDMsigh

Party members: Someone Once Called Me Tim, skeletal elf wild magic sorcerer

Jimbo, skeletal hill dwarf sorcerer

Me, Dr. Adius, skeletal human sorcerer

Aforementioned fleshbag human Lord Dreadbone

The DM, at this point, has obviously realized what we want to do. He also enjoys a good wild magic, so he makes a rule: Due to the nature of the environment, every level 1 spell we cast is an automatic roll on the surge table. Cantrips roll a D20 as if they were a normal level 1 or higher spell.

Session begins

We're invited as known and notable adventurers, along with some other nobles, to the Lord's party

I put on my robe and wizard hat

Arrive at manor, immediately introduce myself to the Lady present

"You know miss, I once slew a dragon in my past life. Have you seen a dragon before?"

"Why, no, I haven't"

"You could see me DRAGON MY BONES ACROSS YOUR FACE" rattle rattle rattle

Lady falls over laughing

Lord Eden, the house master, requests we go turn his electricity on because the power is out and he's old

Age is really no excuse in this party, but whatever

Introduce myself to Tim

Shake hands

Cast shocking grasp

Good ol' joybuzzer

Enter the basement

Dark, but we all have Darkvision

Except Lord Dreadbone, who keeps trying to recruit us into his skeleton army

calls us all "minion"

Is basically Vizzini from Princess Bride

attempts to light a torch, but no flame

Instead, torch is affected by light cantrip

Hear some rustling, don't like the sound of it

Cast False Life just in case

Surge makes me increase one size category for an hour

I am the 12 ft tall Home Depot Skeleton

Jimbo insults my circumstances

Release the liquid in my waterskin, which is tied underneath my ribcage

Baffled at how I just peed on him

Tim runs into the middle of a bunch of storage crates near the rustling and casts Thunderwave

Broken crates everywhere, rats unleashed

No sweat

Does it again

A ghost in the barrell

WTF does this old guy keep in here?

Get idea, approach ghost

"Cousin Wilfred? So good to see you!"

Ghost is confused, but I have deception proficiency and manage to convince it we're kin

Invite him to dinner

Ghost ascends to afterlife having known the warmth of family or some bullshit

Damn

Meanwhile, Tim has broken another crate with a black pudding inside

Keeps freezing it in place with Ray of Frost, no factor

I find the "electrical panel"

Some kind of magic stones in the wall, one fell out

Put it in backwards to see what happens

Nothing

Fine, I'll put it in right

Suddenly become afraid of the room and want to exit via the closest doorway

Side door into the kitchen, not the way we came in

Rest of party goes through without being afraid, notice the kitchen is staffed by Unseen Servants

Weird statue in the kitchen seems to look at them

Now active because the power is restored

Stop being afraid after leaving the room

Be bitter, go back and mage hand the crystal back out

Lights out

Lord Eden meets the rest of the party in the dining room, sighs when the power goes back out

Disappears to do it himself

Fast for an old man

Sneak my way back into the dining room in the darkness, take a seat

Lights come on, nobles introduce themselves

Lord Bonecrush, chief of a nearby tribe of Lizardfolk

Lady Ariel, whom I met previously

Lord Meowthew, A Tabaxi

Lord Bob, and old Tortle

Bob asks to sit at the head of the table as it is nearer the bathroom and he has bladder problems

granted

Feast begins, I pig out despite it going right through me

Tim uses the pumpkin chili bowl to carve a new head

Stealthily swap one of my hands with one of my feet

Sneakily cast mage hand under the table

Caress Meowthew's thigh

He thinks it's the Lady

She is confused

Suddenly sleep spell and fog cloud

Jimbo and I are unaffected

Take Tim's pumpkin and start eating chili with my hands

Fog clears, Bob has a knife in his skull



Mortals freaking out

I immediately blame the annoying Dreadbone

Dreadbone investigates the wall behind the body

I investigate the body and absolutely ruin the crime scene

Dreadbone finds a hidden knife-throwing mechanism, sprung

Suddenly everyone is blinded but me and Dreadbone

Knife teleports out of my hand into Eden's neck

"I just want everyone to know, I was going to do that later, not now"

Get idea

DM gave me a scroll of false life as a bonus item

Swiftly remove knife, jam scroll into wound

Eden stabilizes, feebly gives me a scrap of paper before collapsing unconcious, but alive

Paper is some kind of encrypted clue

Discussing the meaning when Bob's zombified remains animate and begin eating Eden's still-living body

Ask Bob what he thinks the clue means

Jimbo magic missiles his undead kin zombie for some reason

Same team, dude

Because I used Tides of Chaos earlier, I sprout a beard of feathers

Stroke it thoughtfully as we ponder

Tim becomes a sheep for the same reason

Ariel suggests we check the master's chambers

Good idea, let's go

Bonecrush decides to come with

Fine, whatever

Give Meowthew a "Mr steal yo gurl" look as we leave

He's quietly fuming

Rest of party stays to check the bodies and work on the encryption

Eden's chambers are fairly standard

Mortals check his financials and will for a motive, I look around more

Hidden switches

Don't bother logicing combination, just brute force it

Takes a little while, But I get it

Alphabet cipher book pops from a hidden drawer

I stuff it in my robe pocket before the mortals see

They've found nothing in their books

Suggest we search the other bedrooms

This was meant to be an overnight stay, we each have a room

I'll search Dreadbone's room, he seems fishy

Others check Bob and Meowthew's

Decide lying is more important than rifling through Dreadbone's belongings, go back downstairs without checking

Give them the book

Clue is translated: Check the library

Tim is no longer a sheep

Baas anyway

Go the library, leave behind Meowthew

Not paying enough attention to realize the furball didn't come

Start rummaging through books, making a terrible mess

Jimbo and Tim actually make a careful search

I get bored, go to check on my lady friend

She's dead in Dreadbone's room

Goddammit

Drag her body downstairs, burst into Dining Room

Ray of Sickness on Meowthew

Dreadbone comes in hearing the ruckus, examines Mewothew's now-dead body

He was already dying anyway, apparently

How did Ariel die, anyway?

Skull is bashed in

Probably should've checked that before dragging her downstairs by her ankles

thump thump thump

Jimbo finds a key in a book, goes to the foyer closet

Open closet, Bonecrush is dead, hanging inside

Oh yea, he probably did the skull crushing

Killed an innocent cat for nothing

Dreadbone notices a teleportation circle on the floor

Manages to activate it, disappears

Well, that's all the mortals gone, let's party!

Hear him shouting in victory from another room

Damn

Eden was using the circles to get around quickly

Weird flex, but ok

Find another clue

"Reduce the statue"

Only Jimbo and Dreadbone ever actually saw the creepy statue, go back to it

Tim surges from Tides of Chaos, casts fly on a random creature

I'm suddenly floating upwards

"No, this is what I was specifically trying to prevent!!"

"Haha just kidding, I would't be going up there anyway"

Jimbo surges from Tides, casts grease

Someone lights a torch for some reason, fire actually works now

Statue/evil magic creature/whatever plays its final hand

Everyone surges at once

Jimbo goes to the astral plane

Dreadbone turns blue

I regenerate 5 HP at the start of each turn

Tim fireballs

Grease ignites

Dreadbone and Tim are instant death'd

I evade that fate by 1 damage

Jimbo reappears

House is on fire

I regenerate, get the fuck out

House is burned down

I have learned nothing

"Well Jimbo, old boy….drinks on me"

Apparently that's what we had to do to stop whatever evil was in there

I'm upset I don't get to take over the house after the mortals are gone

such is unlife

Source: reddit.com

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