Dungeons & Dragons Online

The Tale of the Canon Cannon

Backstory & System: The system we were using was a Fallout PnP fan-game meant to emulate the style of Fallout 1/2 using a d100. It is a hilariously busted system but I love it. Our game at that time (2016/17ish) had moved to the top part of a pub, so alcohol was present which may have slightly led to the events known in classified circles as 'The Canon Cannon'.

To set the scene, our group was infiltrating a merc base we have previously looted and we were split up into 3 groups. The group this story focuses on mine and my mates character.

I was playing a Ghoul fascinated with cars, POWERRRR and EXPLOSIONS called Jeremy Portentia (later, with a lucky roll, the Stig's Post-Apocalyptic Cousin). My friend played a human, Jonath, who was appearance wise based off of a certain anime character, specialising in: Alcohol, Sniping and Hitting.

As you could tell, we were a very serious group who never made jokes, references or broke the 4th wall.

Our section began with us blowing off some enemy mercs with some quite literal firepower, between a high calibre sniper and a boat-load of frags. After a couple of rounds of combat the mercs ran away and we celebrated IRL with some DRINKS!

However, our GM was to punish us for our hubris as we saw in the distance 3 Vertibirds rapidly approaching us. Now if you don't know what a Veritbird is, its essentially a flying metal machine of DEATH. The GM then freeze-framed us to focus on the other two groups.

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Now, as I previously mentioned, we were a 100% serious group and we had totally not been drinking slightly during said session. That being said, in the next part we may have broken the 4th wall slightly.

Instead of our characters freeze-framing, we found we could still move (and became our own Gms). After much INT rolling, failing, re-rolling with mentats we dubbed this a ‘Temporal Time Loop’, which was like a loop-di-loop of time. With all the stuff around us (i.e. some barrels and a crate) along with everything on our character sheets (alcohol, explosives and a hammer) we set out to craft the only thing that could save us: A Cannon. We rolled for the appropriate checks, writing down the results, what we did and what we used whilst he focused on the other two groups. As it rolled back to our group, we realised the Temporal Time Loop was about to close, so the first thing Jonath (who may have been slightly inebriated at this point, as the pub did do some good ale) shouted was "WE FIRE THE CANNON!"

Needless to say, the GM was rather perplexed and had to be walked through what we had done. After they had been provided with a set of not-bribe drinks and saw the amount of resources we had poured into this magnificent cannon, he deemed it Canonical to the game. Thus the Canon Cannon was made and later that same session, took out one of the Vertibirds with a shotgun-blast of frag grenades. Ultimately the GM was fine with the Canon Cannon as it couldn’t be moved and he enjoyed the concept of it.

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