Content of the article: "The time my party killed a lighthouse (or rather, a fighthouse)."
So this was the most fun, cinematic, epic and synergistic fight I've had in DnD.
We're in a fairly standard forgotten realms campaign that we've been playing for 2.5 years, and we've just hit level 9, so have all started getting a hold of some pretty powerful abilities. Right now we're just travelling overland from A to B, so mostly rolling on encounter tables.
The party were travelling a coastal path, and came across an active lighthouse on a small island in a bay. When we sought shelter for the night inside, we were faced with some angry looking fish people and some sort of fishy priest, doing some sort of ritual, who quickly shooed us away. They weren't hostile, we were just very unwelcome.
We went inland to continue our journey and find a place to set up camp further away from these people. We were just crossing the river which led into the lighthouse bay when we heard a huge loud rumbling sound, before seeing a 250ft tall bipedal rock giant with a lighthouse for a head absolutely belting it towards us as fast as it could. There was no running from this thing, and it was closing fast.
Our druid, currently in the form of a giant eagle, summoned an Earth elemental (a smaller rock monster who can meld into and travel through other rock), while the rest of us took up defensive or hidden positions and prepared spells.
As it came into (long) range, our archer shot out the light at the top of the lighthouse, which did nothing but eliminate it as a possible source of power, and shatter the glass window surrounding the light. Our druid, in eagle form, flew in through the shattered window at the top, giving it a view of the fish people underneath, still deep in their ritual. It swooped down the central shaft of the lighthouse, turned back into elf form to shoot an entangling web at the fish people (which pinned them to the floor), then changed into an anklyosaurus* and landed on them all.
Our cleric fired a guiding bolt at the ever-closing rock giant, which gave me (our sorcerer) the accuracy to successfully use hold monster to paralyse it just long enough for the earth elemental to meld with its feet and start moving up through its surface.
The fish priest, underneath both a web and an anklyosaurus, and freaking the fuck out, cast spiritual guardians, causing golden, ghostly fish spirits ("spiritual pilchardians") to appear and start ghostly/wetly slapping our anklyosaurus, but thankfully he'd prepared dispell magic and was able to cast that to get rid of them before they could do real damage.
I then summoned a tidal wave which, whilst only coming up to its ankles, was sufficient to cause the whole mountainous beast/building to start to fall- but right into the path of our cleric. As it fell, the fighthouse managed to slam one of its massive fists into her, causing her to take massive damage, which she barely survived- and it was still falling on top of her.
Our archer used a maneuvering shot to force our cleric to move some of the way out of the path of the falling giant, as I cast haste on her to give her quadruple speed to get her the rest of the way.
The fighthouse finally hit the rocky floor, damaged, but still very much alive, and our anklyosaurus/druid who'd just spent two turns in effectively zero-g as the thing fell could see that the fish people which had been entangled prone to the floor were now pinned to the wall in a position we termed "pronependicular".
Now in a rush to kill the priest in a sideways room still 30ft off the ground, our archer darted in and used his new short range teleport to get inside and fire some arrows off, while our cleric, now super fast and wearing her jumping boots, simply took a run up and leapt in through the door, whacking the priest with both her hammer, and then a spiritual hammer of her god.
The fish priest was described by the DM as "you can see from its still-beating heart that it's still alive, but you can see from the fact that you can see its heart that it is not well at all." At which, our earth elemental became/emerged from the floor/wall that they were all pinned to, and crushed the priest to death, ending whatever ritual they were doing and turning the giant into mere rock and masonry.
So yeah. One of our party members literally went to the Nine Hells for a quick conversation with Tiamat and killed a god today and it was only the second most interesting thing which happened this session.
*(Our druid is able to shift out of and into wild shape on the same turn, in case you noticed that's not usually legal)
Bonus: This is actually the second time I've killed a building, so since my sorcerer is a halfling, he's going to take after Bilbo "Barrel Rider, etc" Baggins, and take the name "Building's Bane".
Bonus: That earth elemental was a new ability of our druid, and gave us a very elegant solution to a sheer cliff we'd faced earlier – it could meld with the rock with its arms outstretched and carry us up the outside of the rock face, an ability we termed 'elemental elevator', or 'elemvator'.
- The Giant Relic Scavenger hunt part 2, and the time we spent 2000 gold on resurrecting our dog
- The Bridge of Jumping Sharks.
- Childhood killing flashbacks, a banshee killed in one turn, and Animal Messenger shenanigans. (Storm King’s Thunder)
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