Dungeons & Dragons Online

The Tomorrowland Bridge Minion Massacre

Content of the article: "The Tomorrowland Bridge Minion Massacre"

we start from beating snow white at the end of my previous game tale from my homebrew setting, link. if you're lazy, salient points:

  • there are three alien races known as the iruki, konchu, and ekara
  • humanity was largely wiped out by an alien viral bioweapon engineered by an iruki military cabal on earth and released in an attempt to subjugate humanity and scapegoat the ekara (i swear i came up with this last summer)
  • mike, edie, james, and mushi are the core characters: artificer, ranger, barbarian, and monk, respectively
  • each of them has a celebrity doppelganger that is also here because of some dimension hopping that happened earlier
  • megan is a character who was briefly part of proceedings
  • the whole gaggle of unruly vagrants is currently venturing deep into the heart of post-apocalyptic disney world with plotitem.exe, Swoozie's Lifetime Disney Pass, with the intention of bringing it to the elusive Mr. D for some yet-unknown purpose which i'm sure has something to do with the overarching iruki bioweapon thing

there was a combat encounter with a pinocchio automaton that intentionally lied to the party to grow its nose, then attacked them with its long nose, that we're going to gloss over

we're also going to gloss over the implications of an automaton intentionally lying

The Bridge To Tomorrowland

arrive at tomorrowland

several large, hexagonal buildings: once gleaming, now run down and decrepit

see signs of habitation: neatly organized trash disposal, several pairs of shoes outside the one functioning door: some human and ekara, most konchu

go inside

there is a small settlement living in tomorrowland with mostly konchu, plus some humans and ekara

among them is camille, the woman who owed megan $50

camille tells the party that there's a bridge out of the park over the racetrack, but they can't use it to leave because it's infested with minions that are trying to get in and overrun the park

she also asks "please don't let megan find me"

the celebrity party steps out onto the bridge and sees the minions


james gets a call from mr. d

mr. d explains that the minions are trying to invade the park via the bridge, but they think the konchu are ugly and won't come any closer while the konchu are around, so he had the park's denizens plant bait around tampa and then used it to kidnap all of this mini-settlement's inhabitants

it is using valuable resources to keep them alive, so he'd like the minion problem dealt with

he also needs the celebrity party to get rid of the other party

from here i will be referring to the celebrity party as "the party" and all of the PCs by their regular names, because the regular party doesn't factor for a while

this presents the party with a few options


they can genocide the minions so the prisoners can leave via the bridge

they can escort the prisoners out of the park back the way they came

they can, of course, kill the prisoners and let the minions in for maximum self-destructive evil

they can sneak away and do nothing

or they can use c4 to destroy the bridge, trapping the prisoners and leaving them to their death unless somebody escorts them out of the park

james decides he's going to destroy the bridge

i change james's alignment to evil-leaning chaotic neutral

Bridging The Gap

james asks mike if he brought the c4

mike says "yes" and pulls a copy of command and conquer 4 out of his bomber jacket

james a n g e r y

he throws the game box off the bridge and almost throws mike off before mike remembers james is talking about plastic explosives

they approach the minions

the minions yabble some nonsense at them

mushi rolls to understand

rolls a 20

"rudimentary creatures of blood and flesh. you touch my mind. fumbling in ignorance. incapable of understanding."


mushi is very surprised and confused, and when mushi is surprised and confused, he gets violent

the minion massacre begins

mike tries to stuff the c4 down a minion's throat

rolls a 3

sticks it to the minion's overalls instead

james attempts to throw the minion to the middle of the bridge

rolls a 1

knocks the c4 off the minion's overalls

attempts to catch it

rolls another 1

it falls off the bridge

meanwhile, edie is just shooting the minions with her melty beam and laughing maniacally, consumed by bloodlust

meanwhile, mushi is getting overwhelmed by the minions and they eventually throw him off the bridge

james jumps off the bridge and cushions his fall by landing on a dead minion

he attempts to throw the c4 up onto the bridge

rolls yet another 1

it flies straight up in the air and comes back down straight at his head

he successfully avoids severe brain damage and instead only gets an unwanted ear piercing as it grazes the side of his head

he tries again and successfully lands it on the bridge

mike activates the detonator

the bridge blows

mike and edie both have to pass dex rolls as the walkway collapses underneath them

mike succeeds, edie doesn't

neither do any of the minions

inside the building, the civilians are furious and force the regular party to agree to escort them back to the park entrance, though one minor character agrees to show regular james the way to the disney vault

the celebrity party can now continue on unencumbered in search of Mr. D.

Read:  When the DM decides ridiculous details of your actions that mess up everything

Source: reddit.com

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