Apologies if I mess up any of the formatting, permalurker who felt like sharing some funny stories during lockdown.
>long time player of tabletops, relatively new to DM'ing but really enjoying it
>have a regular 2-3 groups where I alternate between DM'ing and playing, more and more of my social group getting into tabletop games (especially 5e)
>most regular group is flatmate (The Texan), cousin (The Nord) and another guy (Hogan), who will feature heavily in most of my stories if I manage to type them up.
> Texan, Hogan and HentaiGuy (mutual friend) decide we're a bit tired of 5e and want to try running something else; I offer to DM a WoD system since they're all interested to try it out.
>Decide to run an anarchist homebrew version of Vampire 5e with a bit of V20 thrown in for some spice, been a while since I played VtM and I wanted to see how bad/good V5 was.
>Run a relatively basic setting, Modern Age city in the Midwest called Sundown in the middle of a Camarilla/Anarch territory dispute; city is currently Camarilla owned by a Prince slowly going insane from torpor (yeah yeah, I watch LA By Night, it's a great show, sue me)
>Allow players to powerboost slightly so it's not insanely boring, we end up with:
- Brujah Spanish noble from the 19th Century who poses as an American History professor at the local university (Texan)
- Gangrel occultist/fortune-teller based on Richard Lael, newly turned and not really changing his lifestyle much (Hogan)
- Toreador sniper/mercenary killed in the field, brought back as a loyal Camarilla cleaner/problem solver (HentaiGuy)
>Players immediately go from being deadly serious to roasting each other IG and OOG about their characters
>Party given instructions by the Voice of the King to take care of a suspected Anarch drug dealer
>Party deals with this by scoping out the house, HentaiGuy sets up overwatch on a building next door to have a clear shot
>Texan and Hogan both specialise in conversation/charisma checks, decide to start it that way
>Knock on the door
>NPC answers and asks what they are doing here
>''Senor, we are here to purchase, your finest crack' (all said in a very authentic accent)
>Doing my best not to laugh, I try to continue as seriously as I can
>You want crack?
>Si si! Your most bueno of cracked consumables!
>tfw he's really going to keep doing this
>Hogan and Texan enter to be immediately surrounded by 4 gangbangers, one of whom they roll a high Wits check to notice he's hiding a pistol in his waistband
>This turns into an extended series of Deception/Manipulate rolls to get more info out of the group and determine who might be a ghoul and/or funding them; HentaiGuy keeps making checks to maintain his aim on the only armed individual
>One failed check later, it looks like a scene out of a John Wu film and the two worst at combat characters are trying to survive a 3v2 beatdown whilst the armed ghoul sprints up the stairs to shoot at them.
>HentaiGuy snipes the 3 goons with mixed results, can't get a lock on the ghoul
>Hogan and Tex head upstairs, almost get sliced in half by the ghoul holding a machete, manage to fight him off before he reveals the Voice is the one who hired him.
>HentaiGuy panics, decides the best solution is to sprint into the house and start firing his sniper rifle point-blank
>Practically decapitates the ghoul and results in a group cry of 'OH GOD THIS WAS MY GOOD SHIRT'
>Group licks their wounds, get some sippy from the remaining humans and loot the place for (and I quote) 'as much crack and ammunition as I can carry, pendejo'
>Group rigs house to explode upon hearing police sirens, steal the gangbanger's van and drive off through the bad part of town to escape pursuit.
>Reconvene at meeting place with the Voice, are surprised to find the Sheriff and King there as well.
>King is relatively polite, albeit flat out batshit
>'Would you like some crack?'
>My man Tex is offering crack to an insane monarch who just let them know he'd kill them if they upset him.
>Rolls 5 successes on a Etiquette check.
>Party recaps their events, explains the Voice is playing both sides
>Voice tries to escape, Sheriff subdues him and allows the party to decide his fate
>Texan's character recognises the Voice from his backstory, as one of the Kindred that razed his town 100+ years ago, asks if he can kill him.
>King agrees before having another mental lapse, announces he's calling a Blood Hunt and puts a list of 12 names on the table, says the group amuses him and he'll let them get a 'head start on the festivities' before inviting them to an Elysium ball in 2 days, then leaves with the Sheriff.
>Party immediately plays rock paper scissors to see who gets to feed on the Voice, after HentaiGuy kneecaps him for trying to escape again.
>Party drives off in the crack-van stuffed full of crack, guns, ammunition and bloodbags to prepare for their next target and drive off into the sunrise.
Further adventures did ensue, and almost all of them involve at least one 'would you like some crack' Persuasion attempts.
- ‘Vampire the Masquerade is a serious game’ part 2 a.k.a. Parking lot assassinations and hotel shootouts are totally stealthy
- The Great Betrayal aka How I learned to not tolerate first-time bullshit
- Nothing ground-breaking, but interesting: I found something funny about “A Bitter Pill” while trying to break it
More about Dungeons & Dragons OnlinePost: "‘Vampire The Masquerade is a Serious game’ a.k.a. Would you like to buy some crack?" specifically for the game Dungeons & Dragons Online. Other useful information about this game:
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