Content of the article: "Wacky Wizards Wiz on Whacking Wizards"
Do you like wizards!? Do you like wizards that whack other wizards (and also monsters and basically anything with a hit dice)!? Then do I have a homebrew subclass to shove into your hemisphere so I can get the words of affirmation my father never gave me for you!
Hi! Wizard player here. Always looking out for neat character ideas to build a character I'll never play around. I'm sure many of you also excitedly opened the newest book from our overlords and went STRAIGHT to the wizard subclass section, only the greatest class of all time, to see what sort of new shenanigans one can now get up to. And, GASP!, a fighting wizard subclass!? One with swords and stuff!? Fantastic! Why should martial classes be better than wizards at hitting things with sticks? Ah, but what is this? Not a single ability that improves my stick hitting abilities until level 14? Who needs extra attack? Have you even HEARD of my man Tenser? Even Tasha figured this out herself. There is not a single reason to get into melee range here, just awesome buffs to defense which you can use from far away just as well as up close. If I'm going to play a stick wizard, I need a big stick, not a shield. I already know THAT spell.
So! Without further ado, please take into consideration this hot piece of garbage, stolen and reworked from a completely different edition, originally made for a half caster class rather than a full caster.
What's this? A wizard making a completely butt busted wizard subclass? Seems like nepotism to me friends. But wait! Perhaps not as butt busted as you might have thought! Here we have a subclass that greatly empowers the greatest of classes! But only while in melee range! If you flee for your life, you have become a subclassless wizard! Still better than the sorcerer of course, but rather drab outside of the ability to cast virtually every spell in the game. There may very well be wizard spells which completely break down the abilities found here, but I have yet to discover them! So I ask of you dear reader, to shower upon me these lavish gifts of praise which I have found myself deserving! And perhaps even to help me with the flowery language because for the life of me I couldn't get this to sound like a 5e reading and a lot of it reads really weird.
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