Dungeons & Dragons Online

When hours and hours of planning goes to shit in 30 seconds

Content of the article: "When hours and hours of planning goes to shit in 30 seconds"

be me, unliving warlock who got tricked by his patron and just wants friends

be not me: 300 year old saytr bard who is parties moral compass and daddy, edge rogue who wants to blow stuff up, lizardman barbarian who is really good at killing stuff, human fighter who acts like a paladin, and our Mercer level DM who is crazy enough to spend all this time on this homemade world and plays eu4 in dnd

party is just returning from the orbiting moon islands because the continent went crazy

the empire decided it wanted to rule more so it started a war that involved the whole continent

party wants to remain neutral until we decide which side is most profitable, switzerland.jpg

party lands near the inland sea city of seawatch, one of the biggest in the world, and is being seiged by the empire

templar faction wants to help seawatch gain independance from the empire, hongkong.jpg

bard spends over an hour in conversation, bribes and private rp with our characters trying to convince us that being diplomats and trying to barter peace instead of war

party spends another 4 in game hours in the secret base of the templars discussing diplomatic options, plans, conversations, offers and back up plans.

templars cant help physically because the imperials have blockaded the city of seawatch with their fleet led by The Superior, an overarmored invincible galleon.

backup plan is to blow that ship up with a special water tight bomb we would mount on the underside of the ship, but diplomacy is option one, carrot_or_stick.jpg

party heads out on a fishing vessel to try and sneak from templar base to seawatch

run into the motherf-ing Superior itself.

they demand to know what we are doing

bard says we are going to seawatch to sell fish

imperial officer on the galleon says "no you are not so either we sieze the fish we have to come with us"

fighter offers a carrot: "we are going to seawatch so have 70 gold and let us pass"



fight ensues on The Superior

bard takes out a hoplite,

fighter takes on 2 musket men alone

aztec lizard barbarian is salivating and starts tearing hoplites apart

rogue is sitting on the fishing boat shooting arrows

warlock yells out to his patron to hear his cry

teleports onto the deck in the midst of two musket men, wings of light and darkness expanding around him, slaughtering the musketmen, hoping to scare the enemies away so party can flee

reinforcements arrive immediately after


the warlock, in a fit of panic, pulls out a vial of pure stellar energy and yeets it at the nearest group of enemies, 15 feet away, coming up from the stern


stellar charge is the power of the world

warlock thought the vial was the power equivalent of a spell or two

the vial actually contained the power equivalent of a stars fusion output for a day

rear half of The Superior is vaporized with all personnel there

warlock goes blind from seeing a nuke go off and is blasted away unconcious

warship sinks in a total of 12 seconds

whole area is now unstable, and is generating magical storms

party is deaf and wounded and retreats to the fishing boat with our unconscious bodies

barbarian rows all night to gtfo out of there

warlock gets revived

"i have seen god and it was beautiful"

passes out again

all our diplomatic planning just went to shit in 30 seconds

empire knows we blew up their ship, we are now vilified

We just accelerated 2 of 5 world ending crisis

warlock is jsut happy he survived a nuke point blank

mfw my warlock's patron wont let me die because he wants some stellar fusion nukes for himself

Dm's mfw we derail so much planning

Source: reddit.com

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