Dungeons & Dragons Online

When the DM watches far too many films

Content of the article: "When the DM watches far too many films"

Going through some old campaign notes, and remembered this beauty:

Be me, DM

Be not me: human fighter who really puts the chaotic in CG, half-elf ranger with a drinking problem, elf wizard who forgets to wizard, and sundry others.

Running a modified Lost Mines/Icespire Peak campaign, party is level 3. The dragon made itself known after the group leave the Manor, and are sent to Gnomengarde to warn the gnomes there.

The group have also picked up Droop the goblin and adopted him. Well , I say adopted – kidnapped and strapped him into a papoose is more accurate. Slowly getting Stockholm syndrome.

Group arrives and work their way through the caves. Party get paranoia over the barrel crabs the gnomes use for forklifts. The tinkerer with the heavy crossbow turret nearly nails the wizard to the wall after he tries to use his own crossbow on it, but after a brief shouting at by the rest of the party, puts her to sleep.

Rest of the trip is uneventful – find the lead gnomes, speak to the king through his firmly locked door, figure out there's a mimic about.

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Party splits up, because they work on Scooby-Doo logic. Goblin managed to break free from the papoose and runs for a more fortified position.

Group consisting of the fighter, ranger and wizard makes their way to the wine cellar. They see the broken barrel, and manage to put 2 + 2 together. Ranger, however, fails a save and decides to see how bad the mushroom wine really is.

Pick a random barrel – turns out to be perfectly normal, and pours himself a goblet.

"You see, nothing to worry about!" he says, as he leans against the next barrel. The barrel is suddenly very sticky.


Mimic starts eating the ranger. The wizard uses his first turn to shoot it with yet another crossbow bolt, which narrowly misses the ranger currently stuck to it. The fighter rushes in and swings her greatsword, landing a solid hit.

Now, I use a homebrew rule – mimics are sticky. You hit them with something, you need to roll to remove it after. The fighter pulls her hands back for another swing, and finds them noticibly empty. The mimic finishes chewing on the ranger, throwing him away before rounding on the now unarmed fighter.

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Rest of the party manage to hear the noise and start making their way in to the room, but are blocked by a barrel crab entering the room ahead of them.

Mimic grabs the human fighter before being interrupted by a goblin cry of "Haar alkhuul dhuul maar o rher!"

I send the ranger, the only one who can speak Goblin, the translation – "Get away from her, you bitch!". It takes him a minute to stop laughing enough to pass it on to the rest of the party.

The goblin uses the crab to pin the mimic to a wall. The fighter manages to pull free just before the wizard remembered to wizard and uses Burning Hands. The wine, for all its various taste qualities, turns out to be reasonably flammable – the mimic burns to a crisp flailing against the crab.

The party patches themselves up, collect the reward and move on with a new goblin sidekick in tow.

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Source: reddit.com

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