Content of the article: "Unlikely Pals on Shoreline"
You (BEAR – Hatchling), me (USEC – Suppressed AKM).
It was a good run we had there for a moment, fellow resort-goer. A holiday romance at the hottest vacation spot in Northwestern Russia wasn't exactly what I thought I was going to get when I put on my kit and rushed the resort, but it was a pleasant surprise at least. From the scattered gunshots I fired at you to chasing you down and you calling out in desperate Russian to avoid a grisly fate, I was nervous, it was my first time doing something like this after all. Though I could've turned your brainstem into a gelatinous splatter on the walls of the West wing, there was something about you that stopped me dead in my tracks. Maybe it was your velvety, rugged Russian voice, or your bravado in charging resort armed with only a woodchopping instrument, or perhaps fate meant for us to find one another, but whatever the case may be, I was the happiest I had been in a long time when we were together. Though our time was short, I shall treasure it ever after.
Now to you I may be just another in a long line of well-armed USECs that you've wooed and romanced, but to me you were my world for the brief twenty minutes or so that you had your way with me. You were my first BEAR and I was wrapped around your finger. I opened doors for you, I shot a scav for you, and I even tried to get you to shoot me after we started heading down to the Tunnel extract by dropping all my gear at your feet and pointing my shiny bald head at the M4 I had found for you. Ahh, but you were a faithful and honorable squire. Thrice I indicated to my surrendered vest and NVG, and three times did you shake your head and turn away. I will never forget the way your manly hands lifted me from my knees and set me straight. What was I thinking then? We were made for one another, words could no more contain our love than could a teacup contain the Caspian Sea, you wouldn't dream of killing me.
Finally, won over by your chivalry, I grabbed my rifle and we headed out. Though we have now parted ways, I wonder at the chance that I might see you again one day. You were my first, you were my best, you were my BEAR.
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