EVE Online

On the different type of mentalities for pvp–some thoughts… And–what about you (last paragraph)

Tonight a good buddy was ganked in game. Code. Or, what ever hotness they're named now. He was quite upset.

He kept asking, to anyone who would care to answer, WHY someone would do such of a thing. What fun was that, killing some poor soul in high sec, for no real purpose or gain.

I realized that, unless he had breached a certain mental barrier achieved only by participating in pvp, he could never understand no matter what words i used.

Like, some pvprs never reach a breaking point, mentally, that they really need to do something so 'evil'.

null sec pvprs, the guys that are always fleeted, always on gates, always roaming, they have their comfort zone, they have rules–even if they dont THINK they have rules, often, internally, they have a system in which they value their pvp, and which targets they select are based on that.

I grew up in low sec pvp. Faction warfare. I played nearly a decade before i got there, and would play 2 years there before i 'cracked'–i broke that wall that i think, allows me to understand what code/safety does, and why they enjoy it. I can pinpoint the night. It was two events, that lined up to break my 'this is acceptable' pvp boundaries.

The first was, while i was in FW and killed several hundred people in frigs and cruisers, without issue–i never felt … ALL good about it. Sometimes newbies would get isk from me, for example. Sometimes i felt bad. I also never searched out and killed miners. I always felt that killing miners, even in low sec, was a bit dirty. I used to mine, do industry, etc. There was just something–THOSE people, were real people to me with real feelings and i just couldnt make myself do it. Then, one night, i saw a venture come though a gate, and warp to a belt–and i thought–i need to kill that. I chased it down and killed it. Something in my head broke, something that flipped a switch. I wanted more. I wanted more helpless miners.

And then, i was roaming through black rise and took a shortcut through high sec, and saw a mining barge–a freaking hulk–belonging to the opposing faction, just munching away in a belt. I called the corp in, and we got a quick set of destroyers, and went in for the kill a few minutes later. I had killed in high sec, legally, AND a miner.

And i was fucking ON IT after that. No longer were these people, these were … things. Things that were fun to kill. Things for me to play with.

A ravenous, blood thirsty, no limits, mechanics abusing asshole. No kill was out of bounds, no one was safe–be blue or purple, or die. And blue wasnt always safe either.

I started to roam high sec with an alt with standings set to identify FW targets, and use her to probe them out when i found them in space, and then jump them. Even in freaking 0.9 sec. I got a CRACKED OUT bhaalgorn and landed on these poor sonsabitches and killed them–i would tank the faction police for these kills too. I started to get bored, and kill MTU's and PRAY they did something stupid so i could kill them.

(Krig's livin the dream, doing that btw)

There's no way i could tell my buddy what the mental space that i went to, looked like.

"What fun is that?"

IDK, the same fun that a dog has when playing with a squeaky toy? The same fun a cat has playing with a mouse that's half dead? The same fun a cheetah has, keeping a pet baby gazelle for a few days? (they do that btw). Its fun because this sort of barrier, that SHOULD tell you not be be a psychopathic asshole–gets broken. Broken, and now you enjoy it. The more the newb struggles, or whines, or is triggered, the more you want to hunt them. I once found myself cloaked inside a mission for 5 HOURS to kill a vexor. He was LIVID when i did it–yeah, i had no life, and now you have no ship, get gud!

I found myself escalating to more and more insane reaches to get people, who liked to tease me and try to deny me kills. I eventually got a ship called 'impossible' because people called it that when it caught them. A dramiel with two warp speed rigs, and my clone was a HG ascendancy set with hardwires, and … i was so fuckin fast, if they warped out to a celestial, i landed and was waiting at the same celestial, before they'd even come out of warp (impossible!' they'd say, or 'wtf!"). The THRILL of that–the 57 killmarks that still sit on that ship … was so intense, so addicting. They were all so fucking helpless when i was hunting them…

Just like code's victims are helpless.

So, i GET it–but i couldn't explain it to him. Maybe he sees this.

Do any of you have a moment like this, where there's the pvp you BEFORE that, and the pvp you AFTER that? Do any of you suspect you're the pvpr still behind the wall–that there's a ethical limit to your pvp? what is it? Why's it there? Do you feel like if you break that wall, it makes you a bad person IRL too? Like, a step too far? Some people have told me that they thing maybe iv'e taken a step too far. But, this is ONLY for eve–i'm a wuss in real life or any other game, about conflict.

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