EVE Online

Space: too much space, actually.

Eve is a game with a population that is not as high as it used to be. That’s ok; the online player count will return, somewhat in the future. I believe in the eternal power of this cockroach of a game to suck you back in; when Al Pacino said “Just when I thought I was out, they pull me back in” he was of course talking about EVE online.

However we can improve upon the games’ current state. We can always do and be better. Here is my humble suggestion for the day;

We need fewer regions. With fewer and fewer people in space, player count aside, space feels more empty than ever. Scarcity and ratting changes made being out in space doing stuff less attractive. So the logical solution to this is to just remove parts of space no one will miss. I’m going to tell you all what regions we all know should be first against the wall when the bullet of more content comes for them.


Cobalt edge

Let’s be honest; has this region ever been anything other than a horrible little hole for the worst of the krabs to crawl into and attempt to escape notice? It is, at absolute best, a resource for nearby alliances to use for rental income. It is two regions away from NPC space, and that involves a trip through another region on my list…


Tenal

It’s just Venal spelt wrong right? Ccp were moving out from the centre of the map when naming stuff obviously, and they hoped against hope that no one would notice. Nah mate let’s just put two basically same names regions next to each other. I don’t think I’ve even been to Tenal in literal years. Why would I? There’s like fuck all happening there by any metric. Fuck it, it’s just Venal with ihubs.


The Spire

There have been, according to Dotlan, below ten kills in 24 hours in this entire region in 24 hours. It’s quite fucking obvious that it’s a deserted wasteland. Outside of a few systems no one even rats there! Yeet this worthless trash region into memory. It’s just a rental region for some bad alliance who seem to be resorting to stealing members from allies. Disgusting. And half the map is a giant ring! Motherfuckers you found the space M25 but you managed to make it empty. Good job.


Period Basis

This region exists for people to go to paragon soul from delve. It’s a literal flyover region. Unless you’re a TEST member or pet who likes losing shitfit expensive marauders. Look we’d be doing you a favour by deleting it. Is there anything else of note about the place? No there fucking isn’t. Begone, trashland. Make TCAG have a gate to LWX and leave it at that.


Omist

Will not be missed.

Ok fine; there’s an entire constellation which doesn’t even have sov, and the rest are just the bottom tier of TEST pets. Also you’d forgotten the region existed until I mentioned it here right? Same, comrade.


Outer Ring

No one lives in Outer Ring. There’s also that fucking like 15 system deep dead end branch of the system and that’s very gross.

Note: I’d accept replacing it with an NPC region in the south and/or drones instead.


Placid

I don’t like how it looks. It makes me flaccid.


Derelik

Derelick my balls this region is bad. Much like period basis it exists only to get to better places, like Curse. And providence I guess, but I’m not sure that’s much better if we are being honest.


In conclusion

There are many other regions I would personally like to see removed, but in order to maintain the objectivity that you, the high IQ reader of r slash eve deserve, I moved past my own personal biases to bring you only the freshest, hottest, and most correct suggestions to fix the game we all love

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