EVE Online

Tempest AAR: Revisiting Fountain, Round 3 “Ladies & Gentlemen, we got ’em”

Welcome back to one of our final installments to this saga. After blobbing the shit out of all our enemies, as per usual, this one may be the end to our escapades. To all we have, I wish you a good fight, to Forsaken Empire (you get to be called your name this one time), well done all things considered. I swear to god, I'll catch that goddamn Vargur one of these days.

Upon that note, this is TempestofChaos, and this is your AAR:

Our escapade starts not at the fleet, but upon realizing that ForSunken Empress supers were being actively jumped out, along with one solo Jump Freighter. Our main joy was that an R64 has popped in our local. Upon realizing this, I immediately realize the time has come for true bad manners. We must mine that moon. And thus a small fleet of ventures beset upon that best while FE evacuates from their fortizar at best pace, including an Obelisk continually warping back and forth.

And so a plan was set in motion. To catch that Fat Fuck Freighter, and bubble it with a cloaked sabre just beyond the Athanor lock range. Sadly it never worked, and FE is a bit more ridged-brained than I gave them credit for. However we got some ytterbite from it, so hooray! I'll be back for the rest of that glorious beast later, don't you worry. Not because I enjoy mining, you see, but because of the meeeeeemeeezzzzz of mining a hostile moon.

As per the actual fleet, it went about as well as you expected. Out of the Closet, TriThumbvirate, and Fuzzy Wormhole Furries blobbed the shit out of the grid. This time, Batman did not show up from his scheduled batphone, and I don't blame them, FE at this point seemed demoralized and we wanted this over with.

The fortizar was popped without contest, everything blueballed, while a cerberus/tengu fleet was slowly bashing a structure while we imagined doing LITERALLY ANYTHING ELSE.

The main content of this fleet was small tackle chasing down bomber groups, and blapping the random ship evacuating, small stuff, but entertaining none the less! For example, once again, TheRealEilish 1v4 jackdaws and a corm in a hecate and dieing in a blaze of glory. Or other small players in the fleet or my dumb ass forgetting to drop his prop mod while getting bombed. Best pilots, ever.

The real juice was the drama associated with it. 'Lo and behold, when the clear cut lines of the clone's crawling behind, noseRead Doctrine planted firmly into the pilot's ass in front of them, and someone's asshole gets disrupted by a tongueRead: LITERALLY ANYTHING ELSE instead, the FC loses his goddamn mind. In that scenario, man does the salt flow. You see, when the grid is blue as fuck, an F1 structure bash, and everyone bored, but one ship isn't the same as the others. This is especially true when the greatest threat is simply not being able to loot the structure, that neurotic tendency trigger gets flipped and rage ensues, it's just like when one pilot doesn't have the clan tag on or the same profile picture.

With this said, for all experienced solo/nano pilots out there, sometimes, the grass is in fact greener on the other side. 😀

And thanks for the free Quantum Core!

To the guy who stole Wind Jackel's corpse from me: I'll remember that.

PS: Nadrad thank you for that nose quote, that was fucking beautiful

This is Tempest, I'm sure some nipples will be twisted over that last part, have a nice night!

Fun note: I'm a moron and posted this to my own personal page instead of here, so apparently I'm even more smooth brained than I thought!


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