Final Fantasy Brave Exvius

Post Pull Depression – Cleome’s Side Hustle

Hello and welcome to Post Pull Depression, the only thread that got Shui Yu off of a single ticket!

Two weeks of PPD in a row!? I had actually not planned on doing this and instead was going to post my season 3 recap, but then I got a very stupid idea in my head, laughed about it for like 5 minutes, and then decided to painfully stretch it out into a full skit as per tradition!

To celebrate Cleome finally getting into Global let’s get ready for a hit of 90s nostalgia and deftly woven exposition that only I can seamlessly do!


Cleome’s Side Hustle

CG Cleome: “School tuition is due again and since my parents murder-suicided themselves it’s up to me to make the money!”

Lid: ring-ring-ring

CG Cleome:

Lid: “Hi, Miss Cleo. Season 1 Lid here, how can I make a lot of money and fast?”

CG Cleome: “Oh girl, doncha know you no be needin’ ta make ya own mona’. You jus’ gotta fin’ a rich man on da older side and maybe even a secret prince or sumtin’.”

Lid: “Sounds great, I can just throwaway my whole character arc that way!”

CG Cleome: “You be welcome, girl! Now datta be 1000 lapis. Next callah!”

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Rivera: “Miss Cleo, I need to know when the next Fan Festa units are coming out. People are really starting to lose faith in GLEX unit supremacy!”

CG Cleome: “You sound like a child, young'un. Do ya got ya parents permission to be callin’?”

Rivera: “I have Sylvie’s credit card.”

CG Cleome: “Dat be good enuff for me! Now lemme look into da cards and see what dey say. Hmm yes. I see dem. Dey are coming SOON, child! Maybe in da spring, maybe in da summer or fall, maybe all at once or spread out, but SOON!”

Rivera: “That really didn’t tell me anything… And your accent sounds kinda fa–”

CG Cleome: “Datta be 1000 lapis. Next callah!”

NV Rain: “Are you me?”

CG Cleome: “Sorry but dis be Miss Cleo!”

NV Rain: “I know that! But is Miss Cleo, Rain?”

CG Cleome: “No, Miss Cleo be jus’ Miss Cleo and definitely not Cleome. Not at all ya hear!”

NV Rain: “But they’re all me! EVERYTHING IS ME! Oh god, someone’s at the door, it must be me. I gotta go!”

CG Cleome: “Uhh… next caller?”

CG Charlotte: “Oh u-uh hi?”

CG Cleome: “Ohhh… let Miss Cleo guess sistah’ you got boy troubles?”

CG Charlotte: “H-how did you know?”

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CG Cleome: “Miss Cleo is a psychic, she know all! And she speak in 3rd person ya know! Now, you gotta be more forward wit’ da man! Let him know dat you interested!”

CG Charlotte: “Well, I ripped off all my clothes in front of him and shouted ‘take me’ but then he asked ‘take you where?’ and told me to put my clothes on or else I’ll catch a cold. I then told him ‘I want to have your babies’ but he said that he doesn’t have any babies for me to have…”

CG Cleome: “Freakin’ seriously!? Oh uhh.. I mean uh Miss Cleo tinks dat maybe another woman might have caught his eye, no?”

CG Charlotte: “Well there is this other girl, but we decided that we could both share him so we ripped off our clothes and shouted ‘we want you to have sexual intercourse with us’ but he just muttered that girls’ clothes really do fall off easily and left.”

CG Cleome: “…”

CG Cleome: “…”

CG Cleome: “…Well that will be 1000 lapis. Goodbye!” click


POST PULL DEPRESSION

That accent was about ½ fake Jamaican, ½ Gambit from the 90s X-Men cartoon and ¾ racist. Cleome should be ashamed of herself! Still, it's always nice to see a budding, young entrepreneur.

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See ya some future banner!

Source: reddit.com

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