Final Fantasy Brave Exvius

Post Pull Depression – The Final(ish) One

Content of the article: "Post Pull Depression – The Final(ish) One"

Hello and welcome to Post Pull Depression, the only thread that ends today!

So yes, let’s just get this out of the way. This will be the final PPD for at least the foreseeable future. No jokes. You see, I fucked up. I had a great job where I could slack all day long and be able to do this high effort, low quality bullshit but then I went and did something stupid. I decided to take on more responsibilities at work. Stupid, very stupid. Might not even get more money for it either (now that’s really stupid). And so between that, PPD starting to feel like a chore, and with NV coming which are all just unit rehashes anyways it’s just time to stop doing PPD after 3 years and 150+ of them.

PPD Index

Now, I won’t be going anywhere. I’ll still be on the DHT, I'll still be drunkenly ranting on the blog, I’ll still do the Season 3 story recaps and the occasional Stingy Should You Pull, the Awards Ceremony (planning now in session for Q2) but it’s time to be relieved of the weekly burden.

However, if you thought I was going to quit before I got the chance to shit on WotV, well then

Ah, one last forced 80s song for old time’s sake!

Now, let’s take a look at the FFT wannabe units!

MontMont Applesauce

Boring ol’ Protag #57830

I have actually played through most of the released WotV story and I can’t remember a single interesting thing about Mont. I was all set to say “unlike in real FFT with Ramza”… and then I realized there’s nothing that interesting with Ramza either. He’s a little too into his sister (and hopefully not “in” his sister) and there was the comedic “Where’s the Phoenix Down” scene. Aside from that, there’s nothing interesting about Ramza at all. Kudos to them for at least not going anime trope with him (how about he’s scared of ghosts and a tsundere!)

Anyways, my point is Mont is just as boring as Ramza. So I guess WotV nailed it?

Stone Throw – Physical damage (0.1x) to one enemy; Increase chance of being targeted (100%) for 3 turns to caster


Meeting Machérie – Increase ATK (50%); Increase LB damage (50%); Increase mods to shit

I think I need some help from people who either paid attention or were sober during the story, but at some point Macherie went from “you need to act like a real man” to “I absolutely love you with every fiber of my being.” This seemed to have happened really fast, but I also have no idea how many days the story is taking place over. It all seems like one really long night.

Read:  A Bad Update to the Highest Turn 1 modifiers list.


Destined Prince – Increase HP (20%); Increase ATK/DEF (40%) when equipped with a sword

This might be passable without the sword conditional, but with it it can just fuck right off. Free is not free when it takes up an ability slot and clutters the menu. This is Destined for the garbage.

STMR: Someone say Lion!?

Lion Emblem – HP+272, ATK+23, DEF+23, SPR+23, Enable 5 LB per turn skill

Bet Squall’s getting a huge hardon looking at another piece of Lion gear.

Why is the HP a weird 272 amount? Because that is what it is in WotV! Why does WotV have such weird HP amounts… uh I don’t know…

Depression: LOCKED

Sorry, you need Limit Break Level 5 to view this. Please go and slowly collect 200 shards and just be thankful it’s not a limited unit so the shards are always available and you aren’t stuck with like an LB3 Ramza forever… you know, for example. Nothing like pulling for a limited time unit and then having to grind for them during the limited time event as well! Oh how fun. You get to not have your cake and not eat it too!


It’s pronounced key-tone not key-toe-nay, they romanized it bad

A shinobi girl who serves the former kingdom of Leonis in Ardra. Originally from Saiga, she swore to serve Leonis for life.

Wow, FFBE gave her a single line for her bio. How generous of them. Then again, I don’t really know which is Kitone or which is Shadowlynx. I have no idea which ninja is on which side or really whose side anyone is on or whose line it is anyways.

It doesn’t help that half the people in the game are blond. Like all of Mont’s family should have been blond and then no other family. Instead you have Horne who looks too much like Mont’s dad whose name I can’t remember. Then apparently different houses have their special squads too like {{caelum}} and {{flagulmuffin}} and I don’t know why they do {{this}} to the name, I thought that was some white power thing or was that (((this)))? I don’t know because I’m not a piece of shit.

Anyways, it’s too goddamn hard to keep track of this. Only one hair color per house, and only one house gets special squads or all houses get ONLY one special squad. Imagine starting the FFBE story with all of the Sworn 8 and 8 Sages of Hess all jumbled together at once. That’s what this is doing.

TMR: Lame

Saiga Gauntlet – Accessory HP+142, ATK+43, DEF+26, 20% evade

Wow, a whole 20% evade on an accessory! This puts it in 5th place tied with fucking Sazh who was released in 2016 as a 4* unit. And this is a rainbow on a collab banner.

The game has set a standard, and that's 25% evade on an accessory. Now, they can do one of two things, up the amount from the standard to 30% evade (people would be losing their shit over this) or match the standard at 25% and throw in some nice ATK or HP or something. You never lower the standard that you yourself has already set.

Read:  Why Evo Mages and Morgana are bad, and why her Enhancements were bad too…

STMR: Somehow Lamer

Night-Blooming Flower – Increase ATK (70%); Increase equipment ATK (25%) when dual wielding; Increase lightning resistance (60%)

And it keeps getting worse! 25% TDW? Go fuck yourself! (PS: I’d watch Kitone fuck herself, she’s putting those kunai where? The handle part, not the sharp part I’m not that sick.)

Depression: LOCKED

Sorry, you need Awakening Level 6 to view this. Yes, that is different from Limit Breaking a unit. This doesn’t take shards! Instead it just takes a crapton of Rainbow Spheres as does everything else! Nothing like a universal bottleneck. Do you want to LB or Awaken or Awaken a Vision Card? Better choose wisely or just go buy a 10 pack in a paid bundle. Also, you need Rainbow Fragments of Thought too? Like there’s now a second semi-universal bottleneck as well. Wtf?

SterneSterne is not that stern

No, he’s not wearing an eye-patch

The younger twin born to King Oelde and Queen Helena of the former kingdom of Leonis in Ardra.

King Oelde! That was the dad’s name! Anyways, Sterne is the only non-blond member of the family which is why he turned evil. Spoiler alert. Just in case you have severe brain trauma and couldn’t recognize the Sasuke in the room immediately. Anyways, can’t really blame Sterne as he’s the bestest ever sword fighter and wants to lead the front line in battle but then his dad (whose name I can’t remember) was all like “no, you're not blond we’re sending Mont out.”

Ironically, I’m likely to pull him for his STMR and then bench him! True to lore!

TMR: The Fated Prince of Bel-Air

Fated Prince – Increase ATK (50%); TDH 50%

Not to be confused with Destined Prince. Fated and Destined are two totally different things.

STMR: The Good Stuff

Lion Armor – HP+434, ATK+38, DEF+38

So what’s so special about this STMR?

Wall of Field – Increase LB damage (50%); Increase dark resistance (50%)

Wtf is a wall of field? Anyways, it’s that sweet 50% LB damage that’s getting the hype. While this is just marginally better than AK Rain’s TMR, this is light armor while the former is heavy armor. So more LB boosting options for more units! Worth 24k + omni + STMR moogle? I dunno…

Depression: LOCKED

You need to have your 3rd job unlocked to level 12 to view this. Each unit has three jobs and their main job. But oddly, their first sub-job is also their main job. Take Ayaka for instance her main job is always White Mage (can’t be changed) and she can always cast Cure, Curaga, Holy and other stuff once learned. But if you want to cast Cura, Curada, Raise then you need to also equip WHM as her sub-job… because that makes a lot of fucking sense!

Read:  JP - DARK VISIONS #11 (混沌の胎動) - 7/23 ~ 8/4

Post Pull Depression

I’ve been a little hard on WotV, but I am still playing it. Not really sure why. I am being a bit of a hypocrite too since the thought of spending money on the game just makes me chuckle and I mentioned earlier if a game isn’t worth spending any money on is it really worth playing? Shouldn’t I be spending the time playing a game that is actually worth spending money on? I dunno… Here am I doing it this way. I do enjoy the story, characters, art and music though and I keep my time commitment really, really low. I guess we’ll see what happens once I catch up to the story and when Agrias is released!

Well, it’s been a fun ride and I have zero ragerts looking back on all the time I “wasted” doing this. Like I said up top, I’m not going anywhere. Wherever a shitpost is needed, I’ll be there. I do want to thank everyone who has ever made it through an entire PPD start to finish, I know it’s tough. And while I do say that I write these for myself that is only partially true since if these things were to only get 3 or 4 upvotes and 2 comments each week, I would have stopped long ago. So a big heartfelt thank you to you all. Also, I’m not crying, you’re crying.

See ya some future banner!

(PS: I am planning on doing one for the last esper units and Vaan, and if those are the next two banners I’m going to look like a giant tool)


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