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Finally finished Borderlands 3, need to rant about the story

So before I go into the rant I do want to say that overall I did enjoy the game. I don’t have a lot of free time to play games, so I don’t buy very many ( like maybe one a year). I loved borderlands 2 growing up so I was pretty excited to play it when I finally got my hands on it. I tried to keep my expectations low as I went into it knowing I probably wouldn’t like it as much as BL2. I was actually pretty surprised at how much I liked the gameplay. The combat was improved, the guns look and feel great plus the different gun manufacturers actually feel different. Adding sliding and mantling make the combat feel faster and more fluid. The classes are all fun to play, it’s not just them having different special abilities but they more augments and the like. Looting is great as enemies drop me rarer loot more often ( tho I higher mayhem levels the legendary drops do get kinda ridiculous). Only real gameplay problem I have is that most bosses are invincibility stages where you can’t do anything but dodge their attacks. All it does is slow down the fight, which is really annoying when you’re grinding for legendaries

But the story? Good god is the story bad. I understand that my like for BL2 story is covered in rose tinted glasses but it was no where bear this bad. Borderlands always had fairly childish humor and I expected more of the same going into the new one, but BL3 takes it to new heights. A good chunk of the jokes are internet memes that were dated when the game came out and only got worse. Not only are they lame but they are also pretty toned down I feel like. Maybe I’m just misremembering BL2 but most of the dialogue in the new game would fit in a PG-13 movie. Do they even cus? I forget

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I could put up with a cringe joke now and then if it wasn’t for the dogshit story and terrible characters. This is by no means a new joke, but it really is Talk to Lilith Simulator 2019. Talk to her, go do mission, go back to sanctuary, repeat. That’s the game. Most of the main side characters are from BL2, Lilith, claptrap, tannis, etc. I thought they would have the Vault hunters from BL2 be the main story NPCs I’m not sure they they just use the main cast from the last game again. Maya gets to be a part of two missions before she’s killed for Ava’s (sigh) story development. Anton and Sal are pushed off to a DLC that dropped last year. Zero is in it for a good chunk of the game tho and he’s pretty cool, probably the best NPC by far. Then we get to the new characters, well I guess some of them were introduced in that TellTale borderlands game but I never played it so they’re new to me.

-Vaughn is the worst character in the game. By far. He sucks the fun out of every mission he’s in. I hate his character design, I hate his voice, I hate his stupid catch phrase. I usually play games that aren’t super story driven so I can have the volume turned down low and listen to YouTube or something in the background. but I tried to follow the story of BL3. I forget exactly what mission it was but he said some beyond cringe line about of the crimson raiders are his new bandit clan now, and he said “go crimson raiders” in the lamest way possible I immediately got out of my seat and turned the volume down on my tv and put a YouTube video on.

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-The Calypso Twins are just boring, the joke of them being twitch streamers wears off after the first mission and they get worse from there. I thought for a second they were going to have the two twins start fighting with each other, and maybe the girl would come over to our side against her brother or somethjng but not. They both just turn into literal monsters that we have to kill. And the plot twist that Typhon DeLeon is there dad comes at the second to last mission and had zero impact on the game.

-Rhys is lame but not too bad all things considered

-I hope Ice T got a fat check to voice Baylex

-All the other NPCs are either forgettable or lame but not insufferable

-I think Ava is the most hated by the community, and I get why. All she does is whine and complain that she can’t go out and be a vault hunters, even though she’s like 12 and can’t fights Then near the end of the story she’s leading the assault on the calypso twins fortress?? for some reason. Then after I solo the final boss Lilith, Tannis, and Ava (who are also all sirens cus why not) appear out of no where and start high fiving each other like they did anything. Of course I’m not even in the cutscene. Then Lilith has to sacrifice herself to stop pandora from exploding or some thing, and right before she does give Ava Sanctuary????? What?! Why? The brat complains and does literally nothing for the whole game and she gets rewarded with command of the ship while I, who did literally by myself everything to save the world, gets a chest with a legendary I already had in my backpack. It’s a testament to how bad Vaughn is as a character that I don’t hate her more than him

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