First i want to apologize for the grammar & English, it is not my native language.
I believe this can help people to be better person, and spread awareness… I don't know shit about mental disorder / Suicidal tendency… but i wish i would few months ago … so should you.
April 10 – 2019.
A bunch of friend of mine, including my best friend of 25 years (im 30) , I'll call him by his Gamertag … "Haywire" … Were playing Red Dead Redemption 2 … I was not able to play the game since i was lacking memory cause one of my 4gb ram stick burnt and i had to take it out, game was constantly crashing because of it…
Haywire told me, I'll stream the game for you on discord, and just hang out with us… which i did. We had the habit, especially me and him to drink… much more than our other friend, and get wasted a lot while gaming… Haywire was more into Rhum, and i'm the beer/wine type of guy…
While they were playing and i watching, i suddenly got the idea … " Hey … why not putting our webcam out and have a blast since we are all isolated because of this fucking pandemic shit" …. I wish i could time warp backward and undo that fucking decision ….
So everyone decided to put their webcam on and we were having a blast, they stopped playing RDR2 and we hopped on a dumb website where you chose a word and draw it, then the other people try to guess wtf you are drawing … fun with friend…
At about 2am, everyone left, only me and Haywire was remaining on the call, typical… we were always the last man standing, sharing songs, discussing topic such as the universe, war, sciences etc… We went to play the game "Insurgency" until about 5am …
Haywire was a gun addict, and that was his favorite game because of all the weapon attachment and authenticity … you know the kind of buddy who have a shitload of weapon, and ready for WW3 … He was ready, to protect everyone around him … told me multiple time if shit goes down he would go to his family first and then make his way down to my family to protect us
Past 6am, i had drank a 12 pack of 5.9% beer + a bottle of white wine, let me tell you, i was fucking wasted …. and so was he, probably downed a 40oz of "Kraken Rhum"…
He had the habit of taking out his guns, unloaded, clean them, make sure they were in good condition etc… Which he did multiple time while we were all on the call… it was not unusual to see him with a handgun or an VZ, or hearing gun "cleaning noise", like reloading, clicking etc …
At 6:20am, i sent him a song, it was a song … "Soldat Louis – Martiniquaise" … We were enjoying listening to this song a lot when we drunk, and just having a good time… a song about traveling and doing thing with women all around the world, anyone men dream huh (F OFF) ….
We had a trip planned to the US … and … you know … doing the Martiniquaise thingy *shrug*….
At 6:25am, while the song was playing, and we were both signing it, he suddenly took a 1911 pistol, put it on his head, smiled at me for about 5 second, and shot himself with a holowpoint bullet… in the discord videocall we were in.
It's not because someone look happy, is an actual positivity magnet, that something is not wrong in his head….
… All i can tell you folks, is enjoy every single moment you have with your friend/family…. play fair, be a good person, share, and listen … life is short, make it worth …
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