Hitman

My Response

Hello,

I am a YouTuber by the name of MrFreeze2244 and recently my name has been brought up with some allegations that I'd like to address in this post. I'd like to tell my side of the story and to acknowledge my overreactionary attitude.

The post in question was about my behaviour on Discord between myself and a couple of other people within the server, so I'd like to go through each screenshot and section and explain my thought process at the time. In the first paragraph it outlines the situation. I won't name names so I'll refer to them as 'this person'. This person came to me about a poll he wanted to do with the server. I explained to him that I already had a league table going for the community to vote for in there and tried to explain how a league would be a more fairer way of deciding the overall ranking of the maps because each map will be put against each and every other map. My league polls was based on what you prefer to play. So in my opinion, it was the best format for it and explained that a basic knockout tournament style is flawed because some bad maps would go through to the next round whilst some good maps will drop out depending on the draw for example Paris Vs Sapienza. Both great maps but one has to bow out meanwhile one of Bangkok and Colorado go through. Doesn't seem like a fair style. Regardless, I said it was okay and I promoted this tournament in the announcements channel encouraging server members to get involved and posted the link. The next morning the results came in and Hokkaido was against Paris or their respective mission names. Hokkaido came out on top with about 64% of the votes. My first reaction was shock that it came out on top over a very strong map in Paris. After my reaction, it triggered me that the point I made about the format was proven right because I think either Marrakesh or Bangkok went through or something and Paris was out. I admit and completely acknowledge my severe overreaction to this situation. Everyone was laughing and because of my insecurities, I've never liked people laughing at me. This goes back to when I was a kid but I won't go into that. It makes me feel a fool and I lashed out at this person in the server at the time. This is a person I liked btw, we get on very well in server up to that point of course. At this point, multiple people were laughing, so I initiated a lockdown to just stop it from happening and told everyone to "stfu all of you" I was angry and it resulted in me kicking out this person and, if I remember correctly, two others. The rest I demoted to stop the poll being linked (of course I shouldn't have done this) Looking back on it, it's embarrassing why I cared so much about that but this is what lead to the bans of two people. I conducted my own polls the previous 6 hours on Twitter as I've been doing for the past few weeks for the league and these two members from the server posted things like "surprising result!" At the time I figured it was sarcasm considering they were laughing at my poll in the server which wasn't in the screenshots unfortunately. But that's where the first screenshot of messages started because I felt like they wouldn't let it lie, they posted comments on my latest video about it, twitter and Discord. I was mad that I felt they were poking me and I reacted badly to it, I don't agree with my reaction at all and realise it's so incredibly petty. I doubt they were intentionally making fun of me and I should've known better, considering the amount of banter we all had over the past couple of weeks. But I banned them both, the second person was for the fact that he was also laughing and changed his nickname to 'Freeze is a cuck' and called me an asshole saying I deserved it. And that message was deleted before that screenshot was taken for some reason but the screenshot of the missing message is here:

https://preview.redd.it/zug5zww9t0t61.jpg?width=1128&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=1f39b2397f07d7d4c02997a3640bc04847b3268d

That is my reasoning for their bans at the time. Shortly after this though I regretted it because I liked both of them and because of my overreaction to a mission poll result they were both gone. I messaged this person to find out if he really thought I was picking on him and if not, why did he say that. I apologised for my overreaction to the whole thing and he accepted my apology and we made up, I unbanned him from the server and requested he ask the second person to rejoin because I couldn't ask him myself. They both rejoined and everything was alright again in the server.

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In the next section of the post it goes on to say, and I quote that, "I lied to my mods about what happened" The truth here is I didn't consider telling my mods the reasoning for it at the time. What my moderator were referring to in the screenshot of his reply is referencing my discussion with them about removing people attacking me about the elusive target mod. For context I'll explain. From Sunday 4th April til the Wednesday I was using a mod to access the Elusive Target early for the sole purpose of preparation. I made a tips and pointers video after gathering my knowledge of those play sessions. I didn't want to release early walkthroughs for the elusive target because I didn't want to spoil it and wanted to respect it's format. So in the tips and pointers video I recommend best starting disguise, best overall disguise and what equipment will be most useful for this elusive target without spoiling anything about the elusive target specifically. Shortly after, I was accused of stealing a strategy. I was completely baffled by this because I had no idea what they were talking about. When they explained, they said the tips I recommended are apparently what was used in other people's videos that were also using the mod. They saw that as me copying and not crediting them. This is untrue, I did not watch those videos. I intentionally avoid watching other people's runs because I don't want them to inadvertently have an effect on my own strategies so I avoid them altogether. Which is why I get so offended when I get that accusation, so I proceeded to block all the comments referring to it on my channel. They started joining my discord server and kept bringing it up. Notex even kindly messaged me about it the next day and apologised to me for them joining and for what they were saying to me. I thanked him for coming to me about it and I appreciated his apology. During the time they were joining I told my moderators about the situation and I changed the way people could join the server so they could be manually assigned a role or banned depending on if they were from the modding community or not. It was unfair to generalise like this but it went on for a day or 2 so I was frustrated with it all. That should explain the confusion in the moderator replying to that person about being kicked. My moderator assumed that was the reason for the kick. I should've kept them updated, I just didn't anticipate people were going to message them, so I apologise to my moderators for putting that on them. I also apologise to anybody that didn't have ill intentions when you joined from the modding community. There are some brilliant mods been coming out for HITMAN 3 and I appreciate all their hard work put in it to these mods for the game. With that said, I really hope that explains that portion of the post.

Next part it talks about an incident between me and a person I removed a few weeks ago. Upon looking back on this, I clearly misunderstood initially what the person meant in his first comment. He was saying how he was still level 2, in capital letters and several question marks. I thought this person was a person that didn't speak alot so I said you actually have to talk, who'd have thought. This was more of a tongue in cheek comment which I should've made more clear with an emote or something. He responded explaining then said "no need to get rude with a viewer" and this frustrated me because in the past when I've had people criticise me or say something insulting and I would reply in the same tone, they would reply with a similar response to what he said. So it bothered me alot and I reacted badly to it. Sometimes when I come across these kinds of moments I really should just step back from the situation instead of reacting immediately to it. It's definitely a downside to me personally of having a discord server. I apologise to this person for my response to him at the time and for banning him. I shouldn't have done that. As for people that were asking why he was banned and me not giving a full explanation, I didn't wanna go into everything I explained here so again because I was pissed off I replied what I did. It was unfair of me to say that and I should've explained. Like I said alot of these situations can easily be avoided if I stepped back from the situation and thought about what I wanted to say instead of reacting badly to miscommunication or whatever. So I apologise to all the people that were asking why the person was banned. I should have explained.

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The next section goes on to mention me insulting people in server making "funny" messages and shows a screenshot of me calling a person "a peddo" then saying "infamy". This is a joke I didn't think about because if I did, I don't think people would ever understand the reference. For context, at the time we was all changing our nicknames and I was changing their nicknames and we were all having fun with it all. One person, In an attempt to stop anyone changing their nickname changed it to read "anyone that changes this nickname is a pedo" Obviously nobody changed it after this until it was either a few hours later or the next day I forgot but it changed back to his original name. So I pointed it out and we all started to joke about it. That's when I said what I said. I spelt it as peddo because I always thought it sounded funny when some people said that way. As for the "infamy" it was a quote from a classic movie called Carry on Cleo. It was relevant to the main character in the movie because his name was the same name of the person in the server. Looking back on it now I can see that nobody would've probably understood that and that was very ignorant of me. I didn't mean to be offensive at all, we were having banter at the time and I don't think he was offended by it by I could be wrong but I apologise for this too.

This about covers everything in that post. I acknowledge that I have reacted poorly to multiple situations and there are other situations of course that aren't documented in this particular post regarding several people's experience with me in YT comments, livestreams etc. This all has made me even more aware of the problems I have. I have good days and bad days but in light of reading everyone's thoughts here on the subreddit, I see something clearly isn't right and getting advice from people, I am going to seek professional help to improve myself as a person overall. I have dedicated my life in the past 5 years to YouTube and it's evidently gotten worse for me mentally and I acknowledge that I do really need help to understand and control my emotions. I currently take medication and I have good days and bad days with it so that will need to be looked at in increasing the dosage or a new medication altogether to help. Overall, I will change and I will be taking time away to reflect and get the help I need. So for now I will be taking a break from YouTube. I don't know if I'll be back because I need to get this sorted as a matter of priority but I'll update everyone when the time comes.

This next post is a very sensitive matter which I take very seriously. The post I refer to is the allegations against me of being "a predator". In taking the time to read the posts my reactions to reading it was almost indescribable. I was in shock, I felt completely and utterly sick to even think I could do that to someone. I just couldn't even imagine it, because it's not true that I would do something like that intentionally with any malicious intent. I've really struggled to find the right words to say about this. A long time ago I invited the community to add me on snap, primarily to view my stories about hitman updates, personal updates on my lifestyle change over the past year and to post any videos I upload to YT on my story as another way of notifying people of videos. People would add me, say hi and leave me a nice message and I made sure I replied to them because their messages were always positive and kind and it was a highlight for me. I decided to let people ask me anything anonymously through YOLO which is a thing used to ask the person anything you want anonymously. Sometimes I'd get overly silly and sexual questions I never took seriously and joked with it and people found my responses funny. Other times I'd get asked serious questions and I gave them that insight into my life through answers on my story. Other times I'd get messages from people. Like I said before I like to make sure I reply to people, especially if it's a long message. I sometimes don't get round to replying to every single person but I do what I can. On occasions there are people that like to engage in conversations and I'm always happy to do that. Me replying to someone talking to me, never ever occurred to me that it's making the other person feel uncomfortable, that's the last thing I'd want. I was replying out of politeness and there's nothing malicious about that. If at any point I knew this, there was no way I'd be joking about things like porn to break the ice. If you was apart of my discord server over the past couple of weeks several of us in discord have had banter over this kind of humour. Reflecting on it, I never considered at the time that it would make people feel uncomfortable joking about that. That was never my intention with anybody and I'm sorry if I made anybody feel like there was more to it than that, but I can promise you that it wasn't. In regards to the age, I never know how old anybody is unless they tell me. I always thought it would be weird and rude to ask someone their age the first time you speak to them. I never figured it would be a problem considering my YT demographics of an 18 rated game I cover said it was viewed by 97% of my audience between the ages of 18-65+ year olds so I never expected anybody younger than that to add me and I certainly wouldn't want to engage in any kind of inappropriate conversation especially if I knew any one person could be young.

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My YouTube Channel Age Demographics

I never thought to ask someone their age when I first speak to them unless it's part of the conversation or they tell me. Obviously asking for their age at first point of contact is something I definitely will do and should've done with any and every person I speak to. In conversations people would often ask to see what I looked like. Sometimes, but very rarely, I'd show them my face because I felt like they were a decent person. It's only natural I'd ask for a picture of their face in return. There's absolutely nothing sexual about that at all, I just wanted to see their face, in the same manor they wanted to see my face. Next thing I wanted to say is if I've acted in a way anybody felt was inappropriate, it's completely unintentional but I now understand why the words I used would come across that way. Obviously if I did make anybody uncomfortable in the way I spoke, and with the jokes I made, then I apologise. In future whenever I speak to anyone, I'll make sure to think about what I'm saying other than trying to be funny and witty with adult humour. Obviously if a person I'm talking to has disclosed they're an appropriate age and they were flirting with me, I'd harmlessly flirt back but absolutely nothing that was non-consenting.

I could never do this to anyone with any calculating or malicious intent in mind. To anyone that was offended or felt uncomfortable with something I said at some point or another, I am sorry for making you feel that way. I'm sorry if you feel hurt by anything I have said to you or anybody I've offended in the past. From this point I'd like to be a better person, and I am definitely going to get help for the problems I discussed earlier in the post in regards to my emotional reactions. For anybody I have had any problems with in the past on discord or YouTube, I'm really sorry. I hope that those people I have offended in the past on discord or any other platform can forgive me and hopefully as a community we can become stronger. I can see my flaws. I want to improve. I want to give more back to the community, to every one of you that has supported me, and liked my content and looked up to me. I appreciate your support so much and I don't show my appreciation enough and that will change too. Thank you so much for all the support. Thank you to the friends that have been there for me throughout this. I hope that people will give me the chance to improve myself as a person and hopefully make this community stronger.

I want to thank you for taking your time to read this.

Thank you.

Source

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