League of Legends

depression and league

I have a degenerative muscular disease that gets in the way of normal daily tasks. League has been my only source of getaway from reality for the past 5 years despite my love and hate relationship with it. In the past, only my left side of the body was affected by the disease. But since few days ago, it seems like it's slowly starting to affect my right hand also- I can't perform at my full potential and I can feel it to my bones every game.

I gave up on a lot of things in life due to said disorder and have tried my best to try to cope living with it. But for some reason, knowing I won't be able to even play games freely now is more depressing than when I was first diagnosed with it. Feels like every opportunity in life is becoming needlessly constrained because of this fucking disease.

edit: Thank you guys so much for your kind words and suggestions. I haven’t felt more welcomed by anyone besides my immediate family in a really long time.

For those of you who asked, I have dystonia. It’s categorized as a movement disorder that encompasses involuntary muscle contractions that spread to other parts of the body over time. Not technically a degenerative muscular disease per se, but every moment of my life for as long as I can remember has been painfully affected by it with it slowly progressing to other regions of my body. Cant even stand up with a correct posture for any longer than 10 seconds without getting muscle cramps/contractions nor can I sleep without waking up few times a night due to the cramps and contractions all the while losing strength and dexterity in my hands when it matters. It’s a strange condition that can’t be summed up in few words, so here’s a link that goes in-depth about dystonia: https://www.ninds.nih.gov/Disorders/Patient-Caregiver-Education/Fact-Sheets/Dystonias-Fact-Sheet.

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I wrote all that down Bc 1) I don’t want you to feel you got baited by the words ‘degenerative muscular disorder’ in terms of technicality. It’s an umbrella term I use to describe my condition to people without having to overexplain 2) I want to take this chance to spread awareness of dystonia- it’s not very much known and I have not met a single person with it. Hopefully through this post, if you were to ever meet someone who has it, you’d be more empathetic towards them without being judgmental, as I’ve faced so many of them throughout my life.

It’s gonna take time for me to get back to all of you but I promise I will. Thanks again, you guys make League worthwhile- even if Yuumi and Teemo are a thing.

Source: reddit.com

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