Monster Hunter World

CRAZY COOL NEW MONSTER IDEA

alright guys, hear me out… I have the best new ultra cool new monster idea leaked from crapcoom's sunbreak dev team….. I'm definitely not writing this because im pissed at every endgame monster, not at all…..

OK so basically there's this new monster and it gets teased with a great jargras getting killed because they're stupid and this new monster is super cool and it also has a fatalis in its mouth because its super cool and awesome. So its called the great Schlopey-Jiiva and it looks like a giraffe mixed with an alligator and dragon wings and a fatalis head. The fight is the newest siege quest that will take you to castle shrade dungeon where it blows up everything with its awesome fire eye lasers.

The fight goes like it starts out in its first of 5 phases (I can't tell you the last two because its a super secret and stored up in one of the devs butt) ok so the first phase you have to only shoot it with ballista with the triple shot upgrade from the rampage. You can only shoot it from the knees when you wall bang it with the clutch bug every 5 minutes with a cooldown. Though you can only wall bang it on a small rock which it will trip on and then take 17 ice + water damage. After you're done wall banging it and shooting it it will go into an immune phase where you have to use your clutchbug to wall bang it 15 times on various rocks around the area before the time ends and it wipes everyone on the map even at camp (except handler). After that phase it'll go into the super ultra fire phase were if you don't have the skills dungmaster, weakness exploit, crit boost, critboost 2, and critboost 3, you'll be killed instantly by its cool eye lasers. For the people who do have it, then you'll pray that you broke two of the 3 heads it has. Without the head breaks it'll do 3098623749782634076283764% more damage to all hunters. With the heads broken you'll have to get it to kneel by standing on plates while your team mates call out which rocks to shoot (you'll need at least 3 gunners) and 1 other player tanking (preferably with longsword and its new fuckulanceu no jutsu where it becomes completely immune to all damage as long as you're using longsword.) Then kill and watch people say how its the easiest game in the franchise even if it took you 14 minutes to kill it (it has a 20 minute timer).

After you watch the 3 cutscenes you kill it and see the segs seen between the hunter and hinoa (and not the other stupid bitch), you can make the weapon which requires 4 5% drop rate materials (only dropped from breaking the 3rd head in phases, 2, 3, 4, and secret 6th phase.) You can only craft a heavy bowgun, and light bowgun, as well as a longsword. The stats have 999 attack and you can use all ammo for the bowguns and has 9999999 purple sharpness for the longsword. You can use ones of the 0.000000000000001% drop rate items to upgrade it with -9999999 attack or +9999999, (which is very customizable and unique which totally doesn't have clear bad and good options!) The super special ability is that it instakills and great jargas. The weapons look exactly like eruzerion from monster hunter frontier as its literally the model scaled to look like the monster from frontier. The armor has 18 billion defense and gives you every skill in the game besides attack boost, which you'll have to slot with its 3, 3 slot decoration slots in every piece. The armor is just a bunch of mooswines taped on to your hunter. These armor and weapons are the only things that can take more than 1 hit and do more than 2 damage to malzeno, so get ready to farm this awesome monster!

Ok guys pls don't tell capped corn or I'll be in big trouble or they'll nerf gunlance to have -6 shelling instead of the -4 shelling it already has! And insect glaive will just lose the glaive and not just the kinsect!

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