Content of the article: "If your name has “Magala” in it, FUCK YOU!"
Let me use the last of my composure to set the stage – I'm on my third character, but second playthrough of 4 Ultimate. Back in the day I remember not particularly liking Gore or Shagaru Magala, but I don't remember frankly hating them.
And let me also state that I am not a politically intolerant man by any means, in fact within my pursued career choices, I hope to provide work to many young and old aspiring minority actors within lead film roles.
BUT HOLY FUCKING FUCK I'D BE MORE DISHONEST THAT THE BOY WHO CRIED WOLF IF I SAID I HAVEN'T SHOUTED SOME SERIOUSLY POLITICALLY INCORRECT SHIT WHILE FIGHTING THESE CUNTS!!
I WILL RIP THE TESTICLES OFF THE FUCKER WHO DESIGNED AND GREENLIGHT THESE HORRID CUMJUNKIE MONGROLOIDS! AND IF HE HAS ALREADY BRED, I WILL FUCKING DO TO HIS SPAWN, WHAT THESE CUNT-STRUCKEN FUCK MONKEYS HAVE DONE TO ME!
FUCK YOUR OP CHEAP FUCKING ATTACKS, THAT DO WAY TOO MUCH DAMAGE FOR BEING AS FAST AS THEY ARE!
AND WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOUR HITBOXES? YOU FUCKING DICK SQUELCHING EDGY SHITHOLE IF I WANT TO GET FUCKED BY YOUR SHART PARTICLES I WILL LOAD UP MY PSP AND DICK AROUND IN FREEDOM UNITE! IT'S BAD ENOUGH YOUR FAT LARDASS IS THE SIZE OF THE OBESE PEDOPHILIAC SHE-BEAST FROM MY OLD COLLEGE COURSE, BUT YOU SOMEHOW HIT ME WITH ATTACKS THAT BY ALL MEANS SHOULD NOT HAVE HIT ME! CUNT! AND YOU KILLED ME IN ONE OF THE MOST UNFAIR WAYS IN MY ENTIRE TIME PLAYING 4U WHEN I WAS DOING THE VILLAGE URGENT, ONLY TO DIE THREE HITS LATER! SHITHEAD!
THESE FUCKING SIAMESE TWIN-ARMED SHINGLEBERRIES HAVE SUCKED SO MUCH JOY OUT OF MY ALREADY WRETCHED, JADED FORM, THAT EVEN WHEN I START FUCKING THEM UP THE ASS, INTO SEVERAL CONSECUTIVE KNOCKDOWNS, I FEEL NO SATISFACTION AT ALL! HOW THE FUCK DO YOU DO THAT!? HOW DO YOU MAKE ME FEEL NO JOY FROM EVEN CLAPPING YOUR CHEEKS!? I CAN LITERALLY SEE THE SHOCK WAVES FORMING ON MY SKIN FROM HOW HARD I'M CLAPPING YOUR SHIT-TUNNELS AND YET I FEEL NO JOY!
AND FUCK YOU FOR HAVING SUCH GOOD WEAPONS!
EVEN WITH HIGH RANK GEAR, LOW RANK SHAGARU IS STILL A MIND-NUMBING CUNT GUZZLER! HOW THE FUCK HAVE I NOT COMMITED MANSLAUGHTER AFTER FIGHTING BOTH OF THESE FUCKERS TWENTY-FOUR TIMES COLLECTIVELY??
Gore and Shagaru Mongroloid also make me irrationally angry with everything they do. Every time they roar, even though it's surprisingly few and far between, I feel my soul darken. Every time they trip me, a new black-dyed strand of hair obstructs my vision more and more, even though both of these things don't piss me off nearly as much with monsters like Najarala and Seregios.
Shit swigglers running a McDonalds I actually find Frenzy Brachydios – a monster I actually really dislike normally, to actually be tons more fun and enjoyable than these miscreant fuck puppets. I found Stygian Zinogre to be tons more fun than even Low Rank Gore.
I mean I don't know how the Frenzied version of a monster I really don't like fighting, is fairer, and actually really fun and exciting to fight, than the flagship of the best MH game.
And I don't get why they made him such an unenjoyable cunt in the first place, when Seregios for example, is both thrilling, fast-paced, and fun as hell, and absolutely rewarding to farm for those sexy, sexy weapons.
The Magala's don't even have the decency of having good armor. Which is a shame, because if painted green that shit looks so fucking good.
I am really not looking forward to Chaotic Gore in g-rank, because I remember not liking him even back in the day.
I would be more than happy if the entire Magala line never, ever comes back.
Edit: You want further proof as to why these edgy cunts are a load of bullshit? Apex Seregios was TRIVIAL compared to these cockweeds!
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