Monster Hunter World

Raging Brachydios was extremely disappointing.

I REALLY had my hopes up. People even in this sub loved it and that’s saying something. I was expecting a really cool fight…

It wasn’t that…

Fucking hell, this fight managed to be both boring AND annoying. RB just does long ass combos the entire fight and has a opening only good for 1 or 2 hits, no time for big attacks unless he is down. 75% of the fight is literally just running in circles around him, hitting him and running away in circles again. I will get back to his final phase later because even that phase is shit.

I just want to mention how TERRIBLE of an idea it was to put such a massive monster in such a cramped locale, the fat slug takes a good 1/6th of each area and makes avoiding his attacks all the more infuriating. It is also fucking annoying that 2 of his worst attacks now have an even BIGGER hitbox, that being the sweeping punch and leap, the latter of which carted me… MY BAD! I SHOULD HAVE KNOWN BETTER THAT RB JUMPING FOWARD WOULD KILL ME FROM HIS TAIL! Honestly just cancerous… It doesn’t help that his moves have no difference in opening time, he could spam weak punches or spam heavy slams, same short opening.

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Fuck it, those sweeping punches deserve a special mention, fuck them, fuck them straight down to hell. Healing? Boop. Dodging? Boop. Attacking? Boop. Breathing? B O O P.

And that fucking dripping slime mechanic can go to hell. Forget wallbanging or tripping, nah, he will just suicide bomb that shit and deny your opening.

Healing against him was so fucking nightmarish that I whipped out the Rocksteady mantle, finally hoping that not only could I heal, but be able to hit him more often. NOPE! Little did I know that his explosive trail hits MULTIPLE TIMES, INSTANTLY CARTING ME FROM MAX HP IN 890 DEFENSE IN ROCKSTEADY. So then I stopped using it and just accepted that 75% of my healing will be cancelled out.

Now the final phase, I was dreading it… But cool music kicked in and I felt better… Then I didn’t and realized it’s literally the exact same fight but with a new shitty gimmick…

Orange Fanta…

So now I know why they never have them in stock at HyVee! RB was an addict! He kept buying them out!

Fuck the Orange Fanta! It took me forever to realize that that shit is what was melting my HP down to nothing. But now that I know to avoid it, the fight should be easy right? He cannot do any explosive slime spam bullshit anymore… Right?

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Wait… The entire arena… Is Orange Fanta…

“… Always has been”

Fuck! How am I supposed to avoid this shit when he turns the entire map into a swimming pool of Fanta?! Sure, initially you have maybe a 7th of the arena empty but nothing stops him from waltzing on over and spilling more Fanta everywhere.

So what’s the point of this? To do an ultimate attack that detonates the entire area. Ok, that’s not bad… I can just dodge over to that empty spot over the- “REEEEE!” OH FUCK MY EARS! Kaboom.

FUCK BRACHYDIOS AND HIS CONSTANT SHRIEKING! SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU SAD FANTA ADDICT BEFORE I RIP YOUR GOD DAMNED LARYNX OUT AND SHOVE IT UP YOUR PISS HOLE! GOD FUCKING DAMN IT HE STUNNED ME OUT OF HEALING AND SHARPENING SO MANY FUCKING TIMES WITH HIS CANCEROUS SCREECHING BULLSHIT!

Overall, Raging Brachy is actually a very human monster… On the outside you see a tough and noble brute, yet on the inside you see a toxic Fanta addict that doesn’t know what to do in his life so just seeks to indulge himself in his obsession in an attempt to feel satisfaction.

As such… I shall name him… Pepsi. After my least favorite soda brand.

Read more:  Can I cry for help? This is a cry for help. I literally don't even care if I beat Fatalis, I just want Evil Eyes.

Source: reddit.com

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