You know the kind of movie I’m talking about. It’s the one where… well, see for yourself.
There’s the protagonist, let’s say Tracer. Tracer is facing a Big Bad in the form of Talon. Tracer’s ally and best friend, Brigitte, has been along Tracer’s side the entire movie.
At first, Tracer ran into a few problems dealing with Widowmaker. Worse – Tracer ran into Widow’s mine! Brig shows up in the nick of time, tossing a Repair Pack to keep Tracer alive, then shield bashes Widow before she can make her escape. She swings her mace wildly and smacks Widow into a wall while passively healing Tracer. Then, she tosses another Repair Pack to Tracer to give her some armor just in case Widowmaker has any other tricks up her sleeve.
Next time we see the duo in action, they’re after Moira! Tracer’s life is being zapped away by a giant purple orb so Brig throws her a repair pack, keeping her alive. Brig shield bashes towards Moira, but misses because… well, the cone size of her shield has been reduced? She stands confused for a second, then watches helplessly as Moira uses Fade to escape unscathed. Fortunately, Brig is able to Boop her with a flying mace which both injures and terrifies Moira into obedience.
Sigma floats into scene and suddenly throws a giant rock directly at Tracer. As a way to protect Tracer, Brig throws her a repair pack before the rock hits her. This time, though, Tracer takes a few extra seconds to recover. Racing bravely through Sigma’s shield, Brig swings wildly and manages to accrue a bit more healing for herself and Tracer. Tracer comes up behind Sigma and threatens him with a sticky Pulse Bomb if he doesn’t give up. He gives up.
Then, Tracer finds out where Reaper is hiding. She suggests Brig take a breather but no, Brig will fight to the death! She follows Tracer and together, in the shadows, they find Reaper.
Reaper finds them, actually, as he Shadow Steps behind them. Brig decides to just Boop him instead, but discovers her Mace is a little bit more difficult to manage. She brings her shield up and is able to protect Tracer until her shield breaks. Fortunately, Tracer shoves Brig out of the way and handles Reaper herself.
Tracer and Brig then head out and find Sombra, or at least where they think she might be. Suddenly, they hear Hola! – but they don’t see her. They hear Hola! again but still Sombra remains cloaked. Brig decides to make a guess and shield bashes towards the direction she last heard a phantom hola. She misses. Suddenly, Brig and Tracer hear Been here all along as Sombra uncloaks. Tracer’s body is suddenly immobile as she is Hacked! Before Sombra shoots Tracer, Brig jumps in front of her with her trusty shield… that shatters almost immediately. They watch helplessly as Sombra teleports the fuck outta there.
Defeated, in a slump, Tracer is about to give up the search for Doomfist. Then, Brig rallies her to inspire her for one last fight! Away they go!
They find Doomfist in the middle of Numbani. He’s laughing, asking how they didn’t see his Doomfist gauntlet inside the Payload the entire time. They ignore him and ready themselves for one last battle, when-
Sombra pops back up! She hacks Tracer because she knows there’s no point in hacking Brig. Brig raises her shield and Doomfist shoots it 4 times before it’s broken. She tosses a Repair Pack to give Tracer some armor but it actually doesn’t do that anymore for some reason. Sombra laughs. Doomfist launches himself directly towards Brig as Sombra focuses on Tracer.
As Doomfist rises, Sombra makes one last attempt. She aims her Boop Mace at Doomfist, takes a deep breath, then-
I’m just kidding. She is actually shot twice by Doomfist because she can’t raise her shield for 5 seconds. Then, Doomfist launches safely in front of her, then punches her into a wall.
Brig looks towards her attacker with a face that appears to have been painted by Picasso himself. Blood drips from her nose. She once again raises her mace and mumbles something incoherent. It lazily flails forwards before retracting again. She has no depth perception anymore.
She falls to the ground then crawls towards Tracer who is staring at her oddly. Rally to me! she mumbles, but Tracer has been continuously hacked by Sombra so she can’t do anything. Sombra almost feels pity as Brig crawls around aimlessly on the ground. Brig continously throws out Repair Packs that don’t actually repair anything. Her shield doesn’t work anymore.
But just like the injured bird who can’t fly, Brig still flaps her useless, broken wings. The humane thing to do would be to put the bird out of its misery, not watch in horror as the bird flops around like a fish trying to keep itself alive.
I wish they’d be humane.
- MNAV95 after the most recent balance patch, showing which heroes are statistically most likely to win competitive matches
- Was Sombra a good pick? (PS4)
- The Baguette changes are too harsh. Here are some better ideas…
More about OverwatchPost: "Watching Brigitte getting nerfed into oblivion has been like watching a horror movie, so I wrote a mini-script. Enjoy!" specifically for the game Overwatch. Other useful information about this game:
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- One basic, yet important concept I learned from playing each hero.
- FunnyAstro’s Visa issues and travelling to South Korea from the UK.
- Why am I so bad at control (Tank, Xbox)?
- Announcing The CGL Overwatch Community DVA Egg Tournament For Xbox And PS4 ($150 prize pool per platform)
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