Content of the article: "Fastforecast 8 January —-FastForecast Media-napped and held ransomed—"
Good morning citizens, your FastForecast is coming to you today from a small cabin aboard an Argo cargo hauler.
Seems that while responding to an emergency beacon yesterday, we were led into an ambush by unknown attackers where our quantum drives were targeted which resulted in a breach in the quantum fuel tanks. We had just enough time to dump our escape pod out the back before the Valkyrie went thermal which, according to external cameras gives us a pretty view but…. we're just floating around waiting on rescue.
However, us being stranded somewhere has never meant we aren't broadcasting so, tapping into the meager power systems onboard the ship, we're pushing this broadcast through life support and navigational because…we're not in the front of the ship so we can't access the nav or engines right now so they're a bit useless.
Top story, Chaos Squad have resorted to taking hostages. A few days ago, your favorite news broadcaster was taken hostage for the sum of 5 million aUEC and held at gunpoint for almost an hour before an industrialist put up the funds to free us. We thank you Citizen BroliniumFalcon for paying our ransom. We are forever in your debt.
After the rescue, citizen Falcon decided he would pay 10 million to have the pirate lord's head on his mantle, and since we were already there, we offered to take the case. We don't often take bounties as we're media but this was a special case. Being stuck without StimCaf and held against our will and then being offered 10 million to bring the person responsible to justice is a special exception.
Pirate lord Dirty was escorted at railgun barrel to Citizen Falcon's ship where he was handed off however things began to go wrong almost immediately. Instead of meeting us at the cargo area, he permitted the prisoner to run to the ICU and then to the bridge. After we escorted Dirty back to the cargo area, Falcon marched him off the end of the ramp onto the icy plains of MicroTech and dumped round after round into his body which…..brought his clone alive in the ICU before Citizen Falcon finished talking about the justice he had just rendered.
Seeing what was going to happen before it did, we departed the ship to take our chances with the cold as Dirty seized control and his pirates began to fire on the engines of the Carrack. With it in a steep climb, the pirate executed Falcon who had not thought to set his own ICU point.
Alone on the tundra, we negotiated a fee for our safe return to Port Olisar, a fee that ran almost 9 million aUEC. We made it back safely, made a new friend and once again saw that the pirates honor agreements made, to the letter if not the spirit of the contract.
This has been your FastForecast reporting from our very cramped and a bit chilly, confines aboard our Argo.
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